I went to the Naval Academy, but they learned my secret, that I had two belly buttons, so they sent me to the Naval Reserve.
Then I got a job in Florida in an Orange Juice Cannery, but I got canned.
Then I went to a baker shop, but got let go becaue I didn't kneed the dough.
I worked in a fashion garment sweat shop, but the manager gave me a pink slip.
I was a Human Cannonball for the Cirus, but I got fired, landed on my head.
Any other job puns anyone else can think of?