That's an understatement! ;)
It's so refreshing to read your posts again, Ashton!
Ashton wrote:
Well, you will be proud to know that I have stopped taking unwarranted "hassle and guilt" from my family members. Mom still tries hard to heap it on, but I'm doing better to not allow it to affect me as much. :)
Ashton wrote:
Well, for the most part yes, but when the family and Ferguson issues cross paths, as they do when I drive towards Mom's direction, then it's less of an escape. As for "rescuing", you and I know that's what it is, for the most part, but I think even if my mom were drowning and I was trying to save her, she would be criticizing my method!
Still and all, I strive towards that magic word, ...communication... with every effort I can make. Even to the point of buying a book called "The Lost Art Of Listening." To be honest, no one in my family ever learned to listen in the first place, so it's like a new adventure.
Course I still melt down between parental pressures on occasion, and yell, and revert to those "tried and true and totally wrong" responses, but the difference now is that I put that event behind me and move forward to approach the next one with a new attitude to make it better.
Hardest part is dealing with the fact that Mom interrupts every other word I'm trying to say, and in turn, that makes me interrupt others without meaning to. That is something I'm trying to stop as much as possible, both with her and others. But a fascinating fact I discovered in the book was that not being listened to, i.e. being interrupted every time you try and speak, erodes your self worth and your value of yourself.
I may not be able to fix my childhood and dysfunctional family-growing-up period, but maybe I can fix me now, and give myself the permission to have such self worth and value about myself. Worth a try, anyway?
Ashton wrote:
Coming from you, that's high praise. Having had over 22 years of therapy and counseling, I feel that I'm able to draw from those years of learning and as you sort of stated, "counsel myself". At times it is a comfort to know that I am able to stay that rational, even when things aren't rational around me.
As for the Meeja, (I assume you mean media), I rely on it to tell me where the protesters are today. And that in turn, helps me decide where it's safe to go and not. So I don't really want to tune it out, at least not locally. But as for the endless twisted opinions of meeja, and their endless arguments about who is right and wrong, nah...I have no use for that!
Wonderful to "read you again" Ashton!
Brenda
(edited to fix blockquotes. Sorry)
Ashton wrote:
Sorry, Brenda.. you've certainly been care-taking for a lengthy period and it just doesn't seem fair that you should be the Poster-girl for {..the French always have the Best sayings} Let no good deed go unpunished.
Well, you will be proud to know that I have stopped taking unwarranted "hassle and guilt" from my family members. Mom still tries hard to heap it on, but I'm doing better to not allow it to affect me as much. :)
Ashton wrote:
You're already engaged in one of the better escapes from the boring awfulness of the epidemic of hate-speech. Family chores might seem more like an obligation, often?/no choice, and like that, but it's still about 'rescuing' in some form. Makes endorphins in the jelloware sometimes, no?
Well, for the most part yes, but when the family and Ferguson issues cross paths, as they do when I drive towards Mom's direction, then it's less of an escape. As for "rescuing", you and I know that's what it is, for the most part, but I think even if my mom were drowning and I was trying to save her, she would be criticizing my method!
Still and all, I strive towards that magic word, ...communication... with every effort I can make. Even to the point of buying a book called "The Lost Art Of Listening." To be honest, no one in my family ever learned to listen in the first place, so it's like a new adventure.
Course I still melt down between parental pressures on occasion, and yell, and revert to those "tried and true and totally wrong" responses, but the difference now is that I put that event behind me and move forward to approach the next one with a new attitude to make it better.
Hardest part is dealing with the fact that Mom interrupts every other word I'm trying to say, and in turn, that makes me interrupt others without meaning to. That is something I'm trying to stop as much as possible, both with her and others. But a fascinating fact I discovered in the book was that not being listened to, i.e. being interrupted every time you try and speak, erodes your self worth and your value of yourself.
I may not be able to fix my childhood and dysfunctional family-growing-up period, but maybe I can fix me now, and give myself the permission to have such self worth and value about myself. Worth a try, anyway?
Ashton wrote:
Cheaper than a shrink, and you're already doing your own version. That seems to make you smarter than a few millions, doesn't it? It always helps to just tune-out the comm'l car-crash meeja too; it's important not to get sucked-in to the endless verbiage from so many new techno-sources, I wot.
Coming from you, that's high praise. Having had over 22 years of therapy and counseling, I feel that I'm able to draw from those years of learning and as you sort of stated, "counsel myself". At times it is a comfort to know that I am able to stay that rational, even when things aren't rational around me.
As for the Meeja, (I assume you mean media), I rely on it to tell me where the protesters are today. And that in turn, helps me decide where it's safe to go and not. So I don't really want to tune it out, at least not locally. But as for the endless twisted opinions of meeja, and their endless arguments about who is right and wrong, nah...I have no use for that!
Wonderful to "read you again" Ashton!
Brenda
(edited to fix blockquotes. Sorry)
