Back in the good/bad old days when the Soviets ruled The Evil Empire, an American couple – let’s call them Mr. and Mrs. Jones (that may well have been their real names) – decided to go and see for themselves what the Russkies were up to. So one October (off-season rates) they jetted off to the East…

Intourist assigned them a guide named Rudolf – he was a real Soviet patriot – the Russians had written all the literature worth reading, composed all the music worth listening to, invented everything worth inventing, and kicked Fascist butt from Stalingrad to Moscow in their spare time. But he was a good guy and he knew his stuff, and they were having a really good trip.

They saw Leningrad and they saw Kiev and they went to Moscow. As they were walking across Red Square, Mr. Jones noticed some white stuff falling from the sky …

“I see the famed Russian winter is beginning”
“Eh”
“Looks like it’s starting to snow”
“Nyet. Not snow. Is the gentle autumn rain to fructify the soil of Mother Russia.”
“Sure looks like snow to me”
“Nyet. NYET Snow. Is Rain. RAIN! NYET SNOW! RAIN!”

As you know, this did not mark the outbreak of World War III. That is because Mrs. Jones gave her husband an elbow to the ribs, and said
“Don’t argue.
Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.”