I routinely feast on the corpses of cattle, sheep, swine, fish, fowl and mollusks. Being at the top of the food chain, I tell my Bay Area vegan friends, carries with it certain responsibilities, and if God hadn't intended us to eat animals He wouldn't have made them out of meat, am I right?

This said, I'm a little uneasy about pork ever since I read about the sad saga of a pig of nearly 1200 pounds, raised as a pet, that was sold to one of these appalling "hunting parks." The lumbering creature, which had for its entire life associated human beings with the provision of buckets of slops, was tormented—one can scarcely call it "hunting"—for three hours by an eleven year-old Murrican savage with a pistol, who took that long to do the creature to death, and posed proudly atop its corpse.

As I would not consume the tissue of cetaceans, elephants or primates, I may have to add suinae to this roster of forbidden flesh.

As to dogs, humanity and Canis lupus familiaris came to an arrangement a long time ago, the terms of which are heavily weighted in favor of the primate party. The more time I spend around dogs, the more impressed I am that they consent to the partnership. If the other animals with whom we share this planet could be raised to a level of abstraction that would permit them to grasp the concept of "evil," and to assign a form factor thereunto, humans would embody that satanic slot. And yet, dogs, those ever-hopeful collaborators, like us. We would be a much lonelier species without them.

cordially,