My daughter was thrown out of 7th grade for possession of a butter knife. It was used to get the rocks out of her heelies.

Tossed into "the bad kid school". Nothing allowed to be carried in or out, not sure if they had homework.

A month later they said she doesn't belong here, and this will only teach her really bad stuff, get her out. She was taken home and homeschooled for a few months.

She was forced to attend Catholic mass EVERY day. The school she was kicked out of is in this church. I believe it was really early, like 6:30 AM. She was instructed to shmooze up the old ladies and make her presence known.

Then her mom went to work. Called the vice principal, Forget it. Can't be done. Called the principal. Forget it. Can't be done. Called the priest in charge of the parrish, an old buddy. Forget it. Can't be done.

Had lunch with the Cardinal. Really. He was very upset that such a wonderful child could possibly be thrown out of school.

The next day, the principal calls her:

WTF ARE YOU DOING!?!?

Her: Who me?

Him: (ok, we've just gone into an area I can't really get into).

Suffice to say, the kid was back in school the next week.

And she got to say to the principal:
Do you want me to invite you the next time I have lunch with the Cardinal?

hehehehehe.