Only thing I 'want' you to do,

as others have suggested too - is to begin to notice the many positive choices that exist. You do not credit these because you habitually see the negative. It doesn't matter that you also have a certain amount of company in such an attitude - you can't see that it IS no more nor less than a built-in attitude towards life.

We 'negative types' know very well what "a natural proclivity" is like. Only difference between 'us' and you is: many of us eventually realize that our instinctive view is neither The Correct View, nor even a very useful one.

You think, when someone says, it's all in your head - that either this is some simplistic slogan OR: you don't see how you can "get it out of your head". Right?

You can't! But that's not the point. The point is for you to give this automatic robotic response its due credit. Begin to disbelieve it. (And it IS.. just "an IT", a little voice running around in that head as if it Knew Something).

Hey.. I'm not a shrink and I can't make it all well, with some clever new set of words or a magic wand. What I know fershure is: as long as you believe that life is a bucket of shit,

Guess What? (You get to 'Be Right' - One More Time)

And that is ALL you will ever get, too..

Ashton

[EOF]

than to turn off the negative thoughts. The medicine has helped, but the doctor suggested ECT, Electro Chemical Treatment, to shock my brain and cause a siezer(spelling?) that is controlled and should restore the chemical imbalance. I am not sure if it would have worked, as my grandfather had it a few times and it didn't help him get out of his depression. If there was a button I could press to make all the negative thoughts go away, I would press it, but no such button exists. The depression if chemical, and also passed down to me via my genes. Both my father's and mother's side of the family suffer from depression.

Believe me, I've tried positive thinking only to crash and burn again, like Snoopy shot down by the Red Baron. After about a hundred thousand of these episodes of the depression taking control of my thoat patterns, I don't really see any use of anything I am doing or have done already to prevent it. But I keep on trying, and keep on getting shot down each and every time. The way I feel, like a modern day Job, made to suffer as some sort of test, and not being able to die from the suffering or my own hand. I just wish the suffering would go away and the test or whatever it is would end.

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