Stop blaming the outside world

Post #29,573 by ben_tilly 2/24/02 6:54:43 PM Reply	Stop blaming the outside world If you want to be a victim, you can be. Forever. Being a victim sucks. I should know. Been there, done that. If I no longer bear visible emotional scars, it is only because I did something about them. It doesn't matter what your employer did to you. You aren't there any more. You are living your life. And right now the only one who is doing you injury is you. If you need help getting out of your pit, I would strongly suggest (based on the experience of friends) swallowing your pride and getting a Prozac prescription. Certainly it will do more good than complaining, again, about people you aren't dealing with any more. Cheers, Ben
Post #29,588 by nking 2/25/02 12:08:24 AM Reply	I am not blaming the outside world I am telling the truth about what happened and why I feel the way I do because of it. It is not the world's fault, it is the fault of those responsible for making the conditions that I had to work under, and I am still trying to get over it and apparently I cannot get over it. Prozac would do me no good, as I have been suicidal, if I take the prozac I will make a suicide attempt. My doctor had advised me in the past not to take it, and had put me in different antidepressants. Currently I am on paxil, which is not doing very good. Oh but I am dealing with them everything I try to get a new job and they have to contact my former employer. I am not sure what they are saying, but I got a good idea that it is not positive and a big fat lie, whatever it is? It seems that potential employers after contacting me former employer, tell me that they do not want to hire me. So yes, they are still making my life hell, even if I am not working for them anymore. "Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
Post #29,593 by ben_tilly 2/25/02 1:59:57 AM Reply	Bullsh*t You are blaming your current problems on powers beyond your control. Namely a group of assholes who are no longer in your life. Until you figure out that they are no longer in your life, you won't be able to get on with rebuilding living. And that sucks. You have to learn to stop saying, "They did this to me..." Instead start accepting responsibility for your life. Yeah, the past sucks. Yeah, nothing is going to make the past any better. But making yourself forever a victim of the past will certainly make the future a lot worse. It is your life. I won't talk any more about this because if you want to fuck it up, there isn't a hell of a lot I can do about it. But every time you continue to whine, a little bell goes off inside my head saying, "I see that Norm hasn't taken responsibility for his life yet." And I feel no sympathy. Regards, Ben
Post #29,617 by nking 2/25/02 10:57:06 AM Reply	Bullsht mark 2 I beg to differ, I have taken responsibility for my life, but I have not taken responsibility for the actions of a bunch of ssholes that did me wrong. Did I, or did I not take that fcking $9/hr job when I could have just as easily have said no to it and stay at home and wallow in my own self pity? Did I or did I not talk to my doctor's office and try to schedule an appointment, only to find out that my doctor's schedule conflicts with mine? For the past three weeks I have been taking DSL classes to learn how to support DSL for a local TELCO and I didn't miss a single class. If I wasn't responsible, I wouldn't have even bothered to show up, or even accept the job. I filled out the fcking paperwork to move my 401K and Profit Sharing to an IRA and the ssholes at my former employer still have not sent the paperwork back to move it yet. So I still have to deal with them. I have the return receipt, and someone from the mailroom signed for it. They also sent some of my stuff to my older address and I had to track it down, despite my current address being in their computers and on my old paychecks. Plus I am not sure what they are telling other employers, but whatever it is, they are costing me job interviews. So, yes, I am still dealing with those ssholes! "Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
Post #29,636 by rsf 2/25/02 12:11:17 PM Reply	???? Norm, Why don't you have a friend pretend to be a hiring manager and call you previous employers to see what they are saying. I've know some recruiters do this to make sure only the best references are presented to their clients. It might help to know if they are just giving you a so-so recommendation vs. out-right lying about your work performance. Just keep in mind that anything less than a glowing recommendation is enough to kill the hiring process IMHO, especially in the current economic climate where most job openings are innudated with resumes. Ray
Post #29,701 by nking 2/25/02 11:26:24 PM Reply	I wanted to do that but usually they screen their calls via voicemail and call the company back. So if Desitter or someone else calls them, they will have to leave a callback number. Anyone interested in calling my former employer about getting info about me, and then telling me what they said, can email me at nking at bigfoot.com and I will give them the corp phone # and the people to talk to. Pretend that you are doing an interview of me, and need to check with my former employer. I had a recruited that was going to call them and then tell me what they said, but he isn't returning my phone calls for some reason? "Will code Visual BASIC for cash."

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