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New I'm kinda on the other side of the line.
Since I currently pay child support for my son as he lives with his mother.

There is a kind of dichotomy with child support because its rights and obligations are treated entirely separate from issues of access and visitation by the non-custodial parent. I imagine your ex might be having problems with that. Heck, *I* have problems with that! It's a struggle and a drain to maintain contacts with her so I can see my son and it feels so wrong that the payments can't be used as a negotiating chip. But they simply can't.

Wade.


Is it enough to love
Is it enough to breathe
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
 
Is it enough to die
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be Anything but Ordinary
Please



-- "Anything but Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne.

· my ·
· [link|http://staticsan.livejournal.com/|blog] ·
· [link|http://yceran.org/|website] ·

New Money as a bargaining chip is very abusable
I don't think Lily's ex wants to visit his children anyway.

Alas, if child support payments could be used as a bargaining chip, the non-custodian could dictate terms. He who pays the piper calls the tune. If the non-custodian withheld money, the custodian could respond by denying access but guess which parent has to deal with the suffering child and various, practical consequences? Indeed, in the battle of the sexes in general, guess who blinks first rather than let the child suffer?

Yes, I know what we have now is the custodian messing around the non-custodian. It's bad in the UK as well. So, attach payment to access and the non-custodian can abuse this to have his way; disconnect them and the custodian can abuse it to have her way. I'd go with the latter, myself, as people starve less.
Matthew Greet


Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
- Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
New I know: it's pretty much no-win however you dice it.
Making the 'lose' the least unpalatable gets us to where we are today.

Knowing human nature, if Lily's ex doesn't want to visit the kids, that would be likely why he doesn't want to pay support. Some people can't understand it doesn't work that way...

Wade.


Is it enough to love
Is it enough to breathe
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
 
Is it enough to die
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be Anything but Ordinary
Please



-- "Anything but Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne.

· my ·
· [link|http://staticsan.livejournal.com/|blog] ·
· [link|http://yceran.org/|website] ·

New I understand
I would be thrilled if my ex made our kids a priority. I would love for him to see them more often. I have never withheld visitation or denied his infrequent requests to visit with the kids,even though sometimes this is very difficult for me. His absence has had a debilitating effect on them. I wish things were different, but they're not. He made choices and my kids carry the burden, and that's not fair. He left me with the sole responsibility of raising our children. That's not fair either. But he did it.

He cant dismiss his obligations simply because he is tired of paying. I wont let him neglect them.

I know it is very painful to be away from your son. If I was separated from my children I would break. Fight like hell to be an active parent in his life, regardless of how difficult his mom may be.

I guess in the best situation both parents would put aside their difference and make choices based on what is best for their children. This is the kind of divorce I hoped for. It's not what I got.

So off I go to court. I spoke with my attorney today and meet with her next week to start the paperwork to counter sue.

I hate this, but the only way out is through.
New Litigation, n. . . .
. . A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. -Ambrose Bierce.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this painful but pointless exercise.
[link|http://www.aaxnet.com|AAx]
     Had a visit from the county sheriffsdept this evening - (Lily) - (30)
         He doesn't have a leg to stand on - (admin)
         Thoughts are with you - (Yendor)
         hope the judge reams him a new one -NT - (boxley)
         Bummer. - (Another Scott)
         Michigan does *NOT* look to kindly... - (folkert)
         Sending good vibes your way! -NT - (bepatient)
         Good Luck - (Bman)
         I'm kinda on the other side of the line. - (static) - (4)
             Money as a bargaining chip is very abusable - (warmachine) - (1)
                 I know: it's pretty much no-win however you dice it. - (static)
             I understand - (Lily) - (1)
                 Litigation, n. . . . - (Andrew Grygus)
         Depending upon how the judge rules - (jbrabeck)
         May it go well for you! -NT - (a6l6e6x)
         That sucks. See if the judge will raise his support payments -NT - (Silverlock) - (1)
             Its in Michigan, the Judge probably will. -NT - (folkert)
         Fortunately.. - (Ashton)
         Try to relax. You'll win this, obviously. Afterwards... - (CRConrad) - (4)
             The AU system got overhauled recently. - (static)
             I hope your opinion of me - (Lily) - (2)
                 No, of course it ain't :-) and sure, I know that's what... - (CRConrad) - (1)
                     Okay. - (Lily)
         Doesn't want to pay child support? - (imric)
         Well... - (Lily) - (6)
             What is the term of endearment? - (folkert) - (5)
                 I'm sure I'll hear a few choice words of endearment - (Lily) - (4)
                     ping me offline if you need to -NT - (boxley) - (1)
                         Thanks - (Lily)
                     Dim bulb - (bepatient) - (1)
                         Yep. - (Lily)

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