Ecownomics

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You outsource their care and maintenance to an outsourcing centre in Bangalore. 5 workers look after the 2 cows for a fraction of the cost.

A SINGAPORE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
The government fines you for keeping two unlicenced animals in an apartment.

A HONG KONG CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad.

COMMUNIST RUSSIA
You have two cows.
The government takes both.
You starve.

NEW RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Government owned front company takes both.
You starve.

MODERN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You pay the CEO a cow in bonuses.
After two years of declining sales, you pay him another cow to leave.

AMERICAN MORTAGE COMPANY
You have two cows.
You loan two cows to Joe. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Joe defaults.
You load the same two cows to Mike. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Mike defaults.
You load the same two cows to Sam. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Sam defaults.
Joe, Mike and Sam all default, you owe six cows.

Jay

Post #283,132 by pwhysall 4/26/07 1:44:05 AM 4/26/07 1:44:55 AM Reply	Ecownomics TRADITIONAL CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You outsource their care and maintenance to an outsourcing centre in Bangalore. 5 workers look after the 2 cows for a fraction of the cost. A SINGAPORE CORPORATION: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicenced animals in an apartment. A HONG KONG CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the Feng Shui is bad. Peter [link\|http://www.no2id.net/\|Don't Let The Terrorists Win] [link\|http://www.kuro5hin.org\|There is no K5 Cabal] [link\|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org\|Home] Use P2P for legitimate purposes! [link\|http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?pwhysall\|A better terminal emulator] [image\|http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h262/pwhysall/Misc/saveus.png\|0\|Darwinia\|\|] Edited by pwhysall April 26, 2007, 01:44:55 AM EDT Expand All History
Post #283,148 by warmachine 4/26/07 7:48:11 AM Reply	Oh Pun forum? Matthew Greet Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin? - Mark Renton, Trainspotting.
Post #283,149 by pwhysall 4/26/07 7:49:02 AM Reply	Looks like a sober assessment of global macroeconomics to me Peter [link\|http://www.no2id.net/\|Don't Let The Terrorists Win] [link\|http://www.kuro5hin.org\|There is no K5 Cabal] [link\|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org\|Home] Use P2P for legitimate purposes! [link\|http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?pwhysall\|A better terminal emulator] [image\|http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h262/pwhysall/Misc/saveus.png\|0\|Darwinia\|\|]
Post #283,174 by JayMehaffey 4/26/07 10:48:20 AM Reply	Re: Ecownomics COMMUNIST RUSSIA You have two cows. The government takes both. You starve. NEW RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Government owned front company takes both. You starve. MODERN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You pay the CEO a cow in bonuses. After two years of declining sales, you pay him another cow to leave. AMERICAN MORTAGE COMPANY You have two cows. You loan two cows to Joe. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Joe defaults. You load the same two cows to Mike. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Mike defaults. You load the same two cows to Sam. You sell the loan to a hedge fund with a promise to make it up if Sam defaults. Joe, Mike and Sam all default, you owe six cows. Jay
Post #283,182 by jbrabeck 4/26/07 12:23:29 PM Reply	But just before the defaults You take all the cash and retire somewhere unreachable. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)

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