But I'd bet (a pint, no less) that if you were to properly pursue the veggie diet, get some exercise and drink lots of water, your interior plumbing problems would recede somewhat.
That does, however, mean eating lots of vegetables. I dunno how close to being a vegetable a grilled cheese sandwich is...
Scott, perhaps you can help my corroborate my bald assertion that the average American diet is woefully lacking in fibre and roughage?