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New Re: Rant/vent - aka what happened over Thanksgiving weekend
For "Thanksgiving", perhaps you need to ask them to count their blessings. Parents who care, who work with you, who love and help their kids and tolerate their BFs. Also, you need to work on "behavioral" things, like you're more likely to say "yes" if they ask nicely.

And the BF thing. He's twisting your words. I guess it's too late to start cleaning your shotgun? When your daughter twists your words, is that her talking or the BF putting her up to it? Sounds like you DO need to be cleaning firearms soon. Is the BF serious about school, or is it another excuse not to work?

I didn't have a child to support, but I did pay about 1/2 my college education working. My wife did the same. I had friends who paid 100% of their college education, they took 7-8 years to finish school, but they graduated. One is now a partner in a CPA firm. The other one is a millionaire.

The "young women" need to learn to take care of themselves. Some language like my parents used. "Well, you're a young adult now, and you clearly have some adult problems. You need to think about your life and what you want out of it. Not just the current BF/GF, but what you want for you and your kids. I can't give it you, we're not the Waltons. I can be your coach and mentor, but it's your life and you're responsible for the consequences of your actions. You have to make the money to support the lifestyle you want to have." I already use that one on my 11 year old on why he needs to be serious about school.

Your problem is you keep rescuing them.

My wife has 53 year old sister that we personally have rescued twice, her mother has rescued her twice or three times, and her dad, well, too many too count. My wife's step-mother-in-law is in her early 60's and has never lived alone. My father-in-law took care of everything until he had a stroke about 2 months ago, now she's a mess because she's never paid the light bill in her life. We had to teach her how to "write a check and balance a checkbook".

My kids are 11 years (boy), 10 (girl), and 6 (boy). We are starting now, and your tales encourage me even more that they will never treat us like this.

Good Luck and my Prayers will be with you. YOU NEED 'EM!!!!!

New Ive been snarling "get a job" at my kids since age 5
doesnt work, you are the magic ATM machine until you break.
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 50 years. meep
New Yeahbut...
Unfortunately, from family experience, some people just can't or won't learn. When/If they start to get their heads above water, something happens to cause everything to fall apart again. Often, it's interactions with other people (a bad boyfriend; believing a story that a better job is available in another city; etc.). Sometimes, it's just bad luck (an inopportune injury or illness; a car that breaks down too often; etc.). Sometimes it's laziness or fear of making hard choices. And some people just never have enough income to live the life they think they need to live and there's no convincing them otherwise.

Most people will eventually get the hint that they need to take responsibility for their lives and get their acts together. But some won't. My mother was often in the "can't get their act together" group. The problem is - what can or should you do about such people? And how do you tell the difference between the groups? I don't know.

Starting young and impressing on kids that life is a series of choices that will impact everything they do or want to do is important. But it doesn't always work, in spite of your best efforts. That's when things really get hard, as you've found (and I've experienced). :-(

Sometimes people need to be rescued. Sometimes they need to claw their own way up the cliff. It's very hard to know the difference.

Best of luck, everyone.

New And step children make the problem worse
     Rant/vent - aka what happened over Thanksgiving weekend... - (jbrabeck) - (30)
         Those kids need a serious dose of reality. -NT - (Steve Lowe)
         :-( Wow! Mine was pretty quiet. :-) Hang in there. -NT - (Another Scott)
         Mine was easy - (crazy)
         This is why... - (admin)
         Lemme guess - (bepatient)
         Holy Frack. - (inthane-chan)
         And people wonder why, every now and then - (tuberculosis) - (1)
             I was tempted. - (static)
         Second your plans - - (Ashton)
         oh joy... thas why when the youngest is eighteen I am buying - (boxley)
         Most holidays in my house ended up like yours - (bionerd)
         Wow, may have even been less fun then mine - (JayMehaffey) - (1)
             get a glucogun - (lincoln)
         Re: Rant/vent - aka what happened over Thanksgiving weekend - (gdaustin) - (3)
             Ive been snarling "get a job" at my kids since age 5 - (boxley)
             Yeahbut... - (Another Scott) - (1)
                 And step children make the problem worse -NT - (tonytib)
         Well that was an incredibly cheerful bunch of stories. - (CRConrad)
         Update - (jbrabeck) - (8)
             I'd move into a boat - (tuberculosis) - (1)
                 twas my dream also but wife gets seasick walking in the rain -NT - (boxley)
             Just so I'm clear .... - (gdaustin) - (5)
                 Answers - (jbrabeck) - (4)
                     Sounds like you need to go hunting, football - (gdaustin) - (2)
                         Help? Each Other? - (jbrabeck)
                         And thanks for the prayers, well wishes, and good thoughts. - (jbrabeck)
                     As for the Hobby Farm... - (gdaustin)
         Sorry you had such a rough time - (Nightowl)
         Went to go visit my Dad... - (jb4) - (1)
             Condolences. - (jbrabeck)

Hey, they have color-coded detours here.
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