This is my perspective on the whole thing

Post #273,459 by imqwerky 11/16/06 11:00:26 PM Reply	This is my perspective on the whole thing Don't try to read her mind. Rather than conjecturing on what the child is thinking/going through, just be there to listen. And never, ever, talk down to a child. Kids hate to be patronized like that. If you see that she is troubled, ask her what she is thinking or if she wants to talk about it. Better yet, just sit down with some crayons and blank paper and start drawing. You will be amazed at how kids can express their feelings through art. I'm thinking you are troubled because you see yourself as that little girl and it is bringing back some painful memories. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve, both for the memories and for the recent death. My suggestion about getting rid of the haunting face is to tap into your spirituality and visualize the child at peace because you love her so much. For that, she is truly blessed. Smile, Amy
Post #273,488 by Nightowl 11/17/06 1:41:20 PM Reply	Re: This is my perspective on the whole thing Don't try to read her mind. Rather than conjecturing on what the child is thinking/going through, just be there to listen. And never, ever, talk down to a child. Kids hate to be patronized like that. If you see that she is troubled, ask her what she is thinking or if she wants to talk about it. Better yet, just sit down with some crayons and blank paper and start drawing. You will be amazed at how kids can express their feelings through art. Never ever talk down to a child. I'm not exactly sure what that means, could you elaborate or could someone explain it better? I have very little experience with kids. I like the crayon idea though. :) I'm thinking you are troubled because you see yourself as that little girl and it is bringing back some painful memories. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve, both for the memories and for the recent death. I think you may be right. Another friend of mine suggested that maybe I felt a lot of empathy for her. And they would be right, as I know how that felt, to see my parents fall apart like hers were. My suggestion about getting rid of the haunting face is to tap into your spirituality and visualize the child at peace because you love her so much. For that, she is truly blessed. Thank you Amy, you have really helped me see things another way entirely. :)I'm not sure if we're seeing her next week now or not, but at least if we do, I have some idea what to do. :) Brenda "When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." -- By Geoffrey F. Abert ************************** "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind, don't matter - and those who matter, don't mind." -- By Dr. Seuss ******************************* "Sometimes it takes a whole lot more strength to walk away than to stand there and fight." -- By the character of John Abbott: said on Young & Restless on 5/19/06 *******************************
Post #273,493 by imqwerky 11/17/06 4:40:16 PM Reply	Talking down Very often adults speak to children in a condescending way. Children are very bright and it is better to talk to a child using correct words and phrases than to euphemize. In other words, talk to a child as though he/she has a functioning intellect. More often than not, that is the case. Smile, Amy

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