Post #26,743
1/31/02 6:23:29 PM
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Man-hating Women
Inspired by the daily Dilbert comic strip, and seeing this type of woman in the work-place, I thought I'd post about it here.
I have nothing against women, I love my wife and my mother. Being a hetrosexual man I am attracted to women, but I do not visit porno sites, fool around, etc.
It seems that man-bashing has become popular with this type of woman. Once they reach a supervisor or manager position, they will do what they can to mess with the men that report to them. I can only guess that in some point in their past, they got burned by some man and are taking it out on all men now? They must have dated a lot of jerks and passed up on the nice guys?
Anyway basically they get a manager or supervisor position, and then complain to the boss above them about the men that report to them. At my previous employer, this happened when one of their legal staff got promoted to a project manager, even if she didn't have any project management or IT experience. My manager told me that I was the only one she complained about, until I talked to some coworkers and found out that was a lie that he told me. Apparently she had complained about the other men as well. What did I do? Apparently she accused me of trying to place blame on her when she gave me last minute instructions to the changes to a project I was working on about an hour before it was due. Changes that would have at least taken a day. She told me that she had decided on them a month ago in a meeting (that I was not invited to) and had just at the last minute remembered them. All I did was say that I wish I had known about them earlier, and that I will get to work on them right away. I wasn't trying to lay blame anywhere, all I was trying to say was that I need to get the information early enough to get the changes done early. That I need to be kept in the loop, or invited to meetings that deal with changes to the project that I am assigned to. But she took it the wrong way, and after that kept bashing me in email, kept creating rumors about me, and other things.
It seems these days that if someone is a white male, hetrosexual, and between the ages of 20 and 50, that we will get discriminated against and harassed and there is nothing that can prevent it other than quit the job.
What can we do about this sort of thing? It apparently ruins careers and jobs for men, and the man-hating women get away with it. Management either takes their word over ours, or is too much of a wimp to do anything about it.
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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Post #26,761
1/31/02 7:25:21 PM
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Stereotype
I was at my father's house for dinner about 10 years ago.
He's dead, so I'm allowed to tell this story now.
He had just got a phone call, and walked back to the
dinner table, both pissed and amused.
Him: Never again.
Me: Never again what?
Him: Never hire a woman or a black!
This was pretty shocking to hear, since my dad
showed very little prejudice in my life. Not
none, but very little.
Me: Why?
Him: You can't fire them, and you can't control them,
so they will cost you no matter what.
Me: Huh?
Him: We have a woman office worker and a black factory
worker (this is in a bottling plant, he is the president).
The black guy repeatable asked the white woman for dates,
and she refused. He got hostile. This was over the course
of months. He was disciplined, but the union backed him, claiming
it was a racial issue and HE was being harrased.
He came to work, and decked her. She sued. The company, not
the guy who decked her. They lost. Lotta money. They fired the guy.
He sued. They lost. He got his job back. The phone
call was from our lawyer notifying me I have to give him
his job back.
Now this is an isolated incident. But it really did happen.
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Post #26,763
1/31/02 7:35:44 PM
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Not all are like that
but there are some that do that sort of thing and get groups to back them up.
I'd bet there was other women and african american men that worked at that company that didn't have those issues. But yes, they can basically do what they want and get away with it at times. :(
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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Post #26,829
2/1/02 9:09:45 AM
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Stereotype, maybe
It's that kind of story that makes so many of us anti-union.
Unions can be good! I believe in unions. But this is so bad.
"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it."
-- Donald Knuth
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Post #26,780
1/31/02 10:22:03 PM
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Re: Man-hating Women
I used to work for one. She drove me to leave my first employer because I couldn't take her crap anymore and she knew that she could get away with it
We had a real verbal knockdown one time when she blamed me for another IT group, in a separate subsidiary, being a month late for delivering some production data to our systems. She had been kept in the loop both orally and through multiple emails, and she did nothing to get them to produce it on time. When it finally arrived, she tried to pin the blame on me and I refused to accept it. Even had a meeting with my IT department's Sr. VP - before he even heard my side he said that he would favor "his management staff". Right then and there I told him I would start looking for employement elsewhere, someplace that had more open-minded management. (Hey, I was young and foolish; but nobody fucks with my reputation and gets away unscathed).
She left there several months after I did and went to work for one of Chicago's major banks. The department she took over was 50/50 men and women. Within 1 year it was 100% female. According to my sources there, whenever any department has to deal with her or her staff, they either cringe heavily or find a woman to be the go-between, knowing that she is damn near impossible to deal with and blows deadlines when requests are brought in by men.
How totally sad. I guess that women like her think they should do this because of the stereotype of how badly men have treated women throughout history.
BConnors
"Prepare for metamorphosis. Ready, Kafka?"
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Post #26,810
2/1/02 4:51:28 AM
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Women-hating Men
They are quite common as well. My wife comes home with stories that left her fuming for good reason.
Given the current work place, I think it is more common to find a woman-hating man with power than vice versa.
Both ways suck. Which one sucks more probably depends on your gender. And (addressing broomberg's story) either way sucks doubly when the jackass in question is entitled in some way. Triple that if they feel like taking advantage of said entitlement.
Cheers,
Ben
PS I am a white male heterosexual aged 32 who has found in my working life that I have been more often discriminated for than against. Ironically I have been sexually harassed at a previous job though - by a man. There is something very disturbing when you are talking to a manager who develops a serious hard-on, stares intently at you as he rambles on, and starts a series of pelvic thrusts at the sky. When my next consulting project was going to be directly managed by him, my response was to find another job instead...
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Post #26,837
2/1/02 10:01:56 AM
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My buddies girlfriends female boss started buying her roses
We advised her to eat a lot of fish :) seriously though sex and race has 0 place in the workplace. A phrase to use if a similar situation comes up. Go ahead whip it out and Ill show you the other side (with a slicing motion)
thanx,
bill
My Dreams aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be
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Post #26,924
2/1/02 7:08:21 PM
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but it's the pelvic thruuuuussssttttt
That really drives you insaaaaaaaaannnnne.
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Post #26,950
2/2/02 1:23:46 AM
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so, what are you saying?
Ben took a jump to the left??
Or was it a step to the right?
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #26,973
2/2/02 11:06:12 AM
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Let's do the time warp again.
Enough with the Rocky Horror references. Like Brad and Janet, he got sucked into a weird world of Transsexual Transylvanians that happened to be running the company he worked for. :)
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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Post #26,976
2/2/02 11:21:10 AM
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Could be, or perhaps they were all on drugs
The company in question was Bristol-Myers Squibb, so drugs would be appropriate.
More seriously, the guy was just a jackass in middle management who hadn't been fired only because he kept his lips glued to the right asshole above him. That asshole belonged to a fairly competent person, so the f*ckwit had managed to follow it surprisingly high up the hierarchy despite a notable lack of any accomplishments.
I was just unlucky enough to be consultant there. After complaining to my internal manager and the owner of the company didn't get any result, I figured that it wasn't worth it. A consultant for a rival consulting company had a friend leaving a company in NYC because he couldn't take the commute, and even though I understood the political BS trick she was using, I took the opportunity and ran with it.
I don't care what you can get paid for being willing to work in that kind of environment, it isn't worth it. (I was offered a job elsewhere in BMS and wouldn't take it.)
Cheers,
Ben
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Post #27,074
2/3/02 11:27:21 AM
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Jerks at work
or rather in that case a Jerkette. They make life hard for us honest folk, and then always kissup to the higher ups so they don't lose their jobs. When we complain about them, management turns a deaf ear.
We had plenty of them at the lawfirm. Many people rolled their eyes when at a group meeting the boss talked about what a good job these Jerk Managers have been doing. Apparently they never heard the complaints or chose to ignore the complaints about them.
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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Post #27,084
2/3/02 2:26:22 PM
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Read the story again
Jerk is the correct gender.
Cheers,
Ben
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Post #27,107
2/3/02 7:47:41 PM
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Yes, but
he was acting like another gender, sort of like calling a man in drag a drag queen. Oh well, call him a jerk or jerkette, its all the same.
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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Post #27,110
2/3/02 8:24:59 PM
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A technicality
Umm I don't think getting a hard-on and pelvic-thrusting are quite 'other gender' behaviours for a man...
Regardless, still very much the Wrong Thing To Do at work of course.
On and on and on and on,
and on and on and on goes John.
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Post #26,849
2/1/02 11:09:38 AM
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It's not about gender, it's about blame shifting.
If ever you find yourself among "difficult" people, be sure to document everything that involves you, in any way you can. Be able to prove your version of the story to a third party, preferably in a way that'll hold up in a court of law.
Documentation is the friend of honest people and the enemy of liars.
[link|http://www.angelfire.com/ca3/marlowe/index.html|http://www.angelfir...e/index.html]
Sometimes "tolerance" is just a word for not dealing with things.
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Post #26,863
2/1/02 11:46:26 AM
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Doesn't matter
it seems all the people she blamed were men, she never blamed the women. Apparently she hates men.
I did document my side, just that management wouldn't listen to it. Management was too much of a wimp to deal with her justly.
[link|http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20020129.html|Man-hating Dilbert strip that started it all] follow the thread over the next few days.
It is not that the Man-Hater is gay, it is just that she hates men. She has a bias against men, discriminates against men, and gets away with it Scott-free. Mostly the discrimination is against young white males, because we don't have any group that supports us in the workplace for discrimination.
"Will code Visual BASIC for cash."
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