For the last time.

It was her goodbye lunchion. She's moving down south to be with her husband.
Kinds of a late in life newlywed.

This was my goodbye speech:

I can honestly say that Alice taught me 90% of everything
I know about marketing data warehousing.

She is the reason I can claim to know enough about large scale
data processing to keep myself employable.

Everything else was a matter of filling in the details.

When I came to work at {{company}} 10 years ago, Alice was the
1st person I met. She took me out to lunch at Applebees.

I had riblets. I think she has some type of chicken dish.

Over time, she taught me the difference between a matchkey
and a merge/purge, the difference between consumer and
business, the difference between individual, family, and
household.

She showed me just how bad the incoming data could be.

She showed me how bad a salesperson could abuse you when
they were trying to manipulate you. So she showed me how
to fight back.

The early days were a series of trials and tribulations.

When we were working on {{major client}}, the pressure was immense.

We were charting new territory in both technology and our
company. We were doing things that people told us were impossible.

We were cutting a multi-month analysis, query, program
extract, report, winnow down, produce output cycle down to
a couple of days.

We even came up with a catchy methodology name:
R2K2 - {{my last name}} Squared, {{boss last name}}, {{her last name}}

So, how much pressure were we under?

I didn't consider a week complete unless I made Alice cry.

Really. Not that it was on purpose, that I was trying to make
it happen. Just that it was inevitable.

Well, the days of crying are long since past. Alice and I have
worked together, successfully, on many projects. I'm proud of
what we did, and I'm grateful for her help whenever I needed it.

Alice, you are a wonderful person and you deserve all the happiness
that is ahead of you.