Please, no comments that would indicate you think you know who I am.

A few weeks back I was part of a very politically
charged ERP selection process.

I am 1 of 2 techs. The rest of the committee
are execs and directors.

We went through 4 days of presentations from
4 vendors.

Day 1 was a waste of time.

Day 2 was a bit interesting. The vendor was
already in use in some part of our company, which
meant a LOT of people would be PISSED if we did
not choose them.

Too bad - they were not right for us.

Day 3 was very interesting. The user interface
was INCREDIBLE. Of course, there was almost no
usable functionality. It was beyond piece of shit
from my perspective.

I snuck up behind the VP and whispered sweet nothings
in her ear:

You DO realize we'd be a bunch of fucking morons if
we chose this system?

She snarled at me. RuhRoh.

After the vendor left, we discussed pros and cons. Or
should I say, I tried to. It was made very clear to
me that my voice did not matter.

VP: Hey, we have to live with thing forever. You're
smart, you only have to figure it out once.

WTF? I stopped fighting. I had an ace in the hole.
I knew the vendor for the next day would blow them
away. All the functionaility we could dream of,
with just a slightly crappy interface that they were
in the process of revamping.

I was right. Most of them loved it, and those that didn't
weren't stupid enough to fight very hard.

But of course this meant the VP then had to work up the
chain for approval. Her boss is not dumb, but he's not
that familier with our line of business. Corporate type
who come in for a few years, made sure everyone is trusted
enough to do their jobs, and then moves on to the next gig.

On the other hand, once a decision is made he needs it to
be executed as fast as possible. Lots of money riding on
delays. So he puts the date down when it needs to be done.

It is a bit "aggressive". Maybe doable, maybe not. I'm
not experienced enough in this type of stuff to know for
sure.

She argues with him. He holds the line. She gives in,
under protest.

She then bitches to me, since it will be my job to pull
part of the project off, and timing really counts.

So I pretend to be her boss, as if I'm lecturing her:

You're smart, you only have to figure it out once.

She laughs sarcastically: What a stupid thing to say!

It takes her about 3 seconds for her to realize I was
parroting her line. Another 30 before she could breathe,
she was laughing so hard.

You've been waiting to use that, haven't you?

Yup.

I like working with her.

I think we'll pull it off.