We HAD cat equilibrium

As a counterbalance to these warm fuzzy cat stories.

My house was a bit warm. So I opened the windows.
I have screens, but not the most secure clips.

I have 5 cats. 5. 5 Godamn cats. I should have
4, one for each person on the household. It
seemed that one was on his way out, so Barb cracked
and got another one to early.

I was at a movie. I was supposed to be home by
4PM to deal with stuff. My cell phone started
ringing at 3:45. Screw that. It was on vibrate
mode. Hit end call. I was watching the last minutes
of "The Davinci Code". Not as bad as they said.

I got out of the movie to hear a frantic Barb
telling me that Pumpkin and Chris were gone.

Went out the window that I left open, so it's
my fault. And that I better never leave a window
open again.

Shit. Screw that.

I responded that I would continue to leave windows
open and if she didn't like it we should just get
rid of the cats. Yeah, I was in bastard mode.

I really like Chris (aka Spaz), but Pumpkin I could
do without. Pumpkin is a mean cat, likes to slice me.
Spaz is a love, I'll miss him.

So I get home, Barb leaves, needs to go to work, and I
start exploring. I figure I'd cover more territory on a
bike, and get a bit of exercise while I'm at it.

I meet a bunch of neighbors in a 4 block radius, and
ask them to keep an eye out.

Ben calls: Spaz is here, get home!

Huh? Seems like he is hanging out on the side of the
house. Ben and I try to corral him, no luck.

He tried to run into the window, but they've been closed.
He then runs away. DAMN!

We gather the 3 remaining cats and place them in the litter
area and shut the door. We then open the windows and doors
and wait. I take Ben to a friends to play cards.

The EGC comes home. I was told (on NO uncertain terms) that
I was not to tell her that the cats were gone. But what the
hell do I say about the open door and windows?

The truth.

She takes it well. We go to CVS for "feminine products" and
pick up a couple of flash lights for her to use while search-
ing.

Barb comes home, EGC uses the situation as a tool to twist
Barb a bit. I ignore,

Barb and the EGC go out.

Spaz shows up. Simple as that. I hear him, he's in the house.
I see him, we're done.

Quick, shut the doors. Do I care about Pumpkin? Naahh, we
have cat equilibrium, one for each person. Yes!

I call Barb, tell her.

Barb and Ben come home. Barb asks about Pumpkin, wondering
what to do.

Me: Do? Lock the damn door - we have cat equilibrium!

Ben: If Pumpkin showed up he'd toss her out with telling us.

Me: (Smile) Could be.

Barb: Huh - You didn't, did you?

Me: You'll never know.

They go to bed. 10 minutes later, Pumpkin shows up. Must
have been asleep somewhere.

DAMN! We no longer have cat equilibrium.

Post #256,148 by broomberg 5/21/06 12:49:16 AM Reply	We HAD cat equilibrium As a counterbalance to these warm fuzzy cat stories. My house was a bit warm. So I opened the windows. I have screens, but not the most secure clips. I have 5 cats. 5. 5 Godamn cats. I should have 4, one for each person on the household. It seemed that one was on his way out, so Barb cracked and got another one to early. I was at a movie. I was supposed to be home by 4PM to deal with stuff. My cell phone started ringing at 3:45. Screw that. It was on vibrate mode. Hit end call. I was watching the last minutes of "The Davinci Code". Not as bad as they said. I got out of the movie to hear a frantic Barb telling me that Pumpkin and Chris were gone. Went out the window that I left open, so it's my fault. And that I better never leave a window open again. Shit. Screw that. I responded that I would continue to leave windows open and if she didn't like it we should just get rid of the cats. Yeah, I was in bastard mode. I really like Chris (aka Spaz), but Pumpkin I could do without. Pumpkin is a mean cat, likes to slice me. Spaz is a love, I'll miss him. So I get home, Barb leaves, needs to go to work, and I start exploring. I figure I'd cover more territory on a bike, and get a bit of exercise while I'm at it. I meet a bunch of neighbors in a 4 block radius, and ask them to keep an eye out. Ben calls: Spaz is here, get home! Huh? Seems like he is hanging out on the side of the house. Ben and I try to corral him, no luck. He tried to run into the window, but they've been closed. He then runs away. DAMN! We gather the 3 remaining cats and place them in the litter area and shut the door. We then open the windows and doors and wait. I take Ben to a friends to play cards. The EGC comes home. I was told (on NO uncertain terms) that I was not to tell her that the cats were gone. But what the hell do I say about the open door and windows? The truth. She takes it well. We go to CVS for "feminine products" and pick up a couple of flash lights for her to use while search- ing. Barb comes home, EGC uses the situation as a tool to twist Barb a bit. I ignore, Barb and the EGC go out. Spaz shows up. Simple as that. I hear him, he's in the house. I see him, we're done. Quick, shut the doors. Do I care about Pumpkin? Naahh, we have cat equilibrium, one for each person. Yes! I call Barb, tell her. Barb and Ben come home. Barb asks about Pumpkin, wondering what to do. Me: Do? Lock the damn door - we have cat equilibrium! Ben: If Pumpkin showed up he'd toss her out with telling us. Me: (Smile) Could be. Barb: Huh - You didn't, did you? Me: You'll never know. They go to bed. 10 minutes later, Pumpkin shows up. Must have been asleep somewhere. DAMN! We no longer have cat equilibrium.
Post #256,149 by admin 5/21/06 8:24:51 AM Reply	5 is a lot. You're a lightweight, though. Between the house, the deck, and the garage, we have 12 right now. At one point, we had 24. No, this is not a situation I'm all that sanguine about. I used to like cats. Regards, -scott anderson "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson..."
Post #256,192 by static 5/22/06 1:09:37 AM Reply	And my wife thought a third would be too many... I did agree, BTW. Wade. "Insert crowbar. Apply force."
Post #256,220 by jbrabeck 5/22/06 9:45:09 AM Reply	Guess my 4 is "normal". A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (Herm Albright)
Post #256,674 by tuberculosis 5/24/06 7:50:33 PM Reply	1 is too many [link\|http://www.blackbagops.net\|Black Bag Operations Log] [link\|http://www.objectiveclips.com\|Artificial Intelligence] [link\|http://www.badpage.info/seaside/html\|Scrutinizer]
Post #256,645 by ChrisR 5/24/06 4:38:00 PM Reply	Your cat wants on the interweb You need to let your cats [link\|http://lemonodor.com/archives/001388.html\|use the computer].
Post #256,660 by ben_tilly 5/24/06 5:16:16 PM Reply	ICLRPD (new thread) Created as new thread #256659 titled [link\|/forums/render/content/show?contentid=256659\|ICLRPD] I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)

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