[link|http://huffingtonstoast.com/371/big-als-sexatopia-saves-air-america/|Stuart Smalley has the answer!]

Excerpts:

Okay, look. Here\ufffds what happened. We had this guy from Guam running Air America, and he borrowed money from an organization that runs camps for underprivileged kids, and he said he needed it because he had brain cancer, but it really went to pay for Air America. It paid for air time and limos and vegan deli platters for the green room and all the other stuff we needed to keep the network running.

I had absolutely no idea. I want that to be clear from the start. I mean, why would Air America need to borrow money? Finally\ufffdFINALLY\ufffdwe have a liberal voice in the media. I figured people would flock to it, after putting up with the conservatives at Fox News and The New York Times and The Washington Post and The Village Voice. I figured we\ufffdd make tons of money, selling ads to PETA and IKEA and Bubba Burgers and whatever. Because people were starving for liberal news coverage...

Now, I want to be honest and admit that there\ufffds a problem with the plan to pay them back. I\ufffdm not going to stonewall or lie, like George Bush lying about how there were nuclear bombs all over the place in Iraq. There\ufffds a problem, because apparently, we\ufffdre not selling a lot of ads. Apparently, our liberal target audience likes to talk a lot about how they want to hear liberal commentary on the radio, but when push comes to shove, they\ufffdre tuning in Rush Limbaugh and trying to get past his call screener so they can get on the air and call him a big fatass. So our ratings\ufffdthey\ufffdre not good. And advertisers\ufffdthese greedy corporations\ufffdI\ufffdm sorry, I know I\ufffdll get in trouble for this, but these greedy capitalist corporations refuse to buy ads unless they think people will actually hear them and buy their products...

That\ufffds what the Republicans are all about. Nazi Halliburton incest oil rape. And Randi is out there on the front lines every day, connecting the dots, which is hard, because some of the dots are really far apart. And some\ufffdI\ufffdll be honest\ufffdsome, she had to make up, because they weren\ufffdt really there. But that\ufffds okay, because falsified information is acceptable, as long as the final story is accurate. I think Lenin said that. What? I\ufffdm getting a correction over my earphone. Okay, not Lenin. Dan Rather. But I think you see the point.

But the money will get to the kids sooner or later. And\ufffdI know I\ufffdm stepping in it again, but I\ufffdll say it\ufffdwhat\ufffds really more important? Getting these kids to camp right this very minute, or paying Randi so she can connect the dots? I mean these kids are like, BLACK, and it\ufffds not like they\ufffdre not used to being poor. You know, they\ufffdre street-smart, and they know how to entertain themselves. They, I guess, break-dance and stuff.