Since it is a goal unachievable, you've decided its time wasted on the attempt.
Why bother complaining then. Its a difficult fix at best, just give up. Save you alot of time and angst in the process.
And please...send me the Cracker Jack box from which you get yuour Ashtonizer Decoder Ring. This way I'll know what "code word" du jour is...and maybe even before you've spend 6 posts trying to make that point.