[Under any circumstances - not just this one] You are never *required* to eat the massive negativity of an utterly self-centered, insensitive sanctimonious clod: on-line, on-fone or face >|< Face.

I realize that Ashton, I was just trying to take into consideration how upset everyone is in the family, and even though she hurt my feelings pretty bad, I tried to tell myself she didn't really mean it.

One need not swear at such; Hell - that's the emotional mindset such a one Lives in, with the hope of spreading it. Why give them what They want? (What does the sadist do to the masochist? Why, nothing at all..

Exactly, so I didn't swear. I was just at the point where it seemed like it might feel good to do. ;) Instead I stayed calm and reasonable.

A simple, "I have no more time to talk to you now. I may ... ?? ... call you back. Sometime."

I did try that, I tried several tactics, including I'll call them later and get back to you, but short of doing what she wanted, nothing was going to make her happy... so I decided doing what she wanted at least in this case, was the best course of action. However, I don't want to start a pattern, so next time I may find another way out of it, if it reoccurrs.

(Nobody Ever likes to feel like a doormat; and you needn't, either. Only by allowing it to happen - can that 'happen'.)

I realize that too, and she wasn't "causing me to feel guilty" I was letting her make me feel guilty... I know that also. And maybe I did feel a little guilty for not being back up at the hospital Saturday, but man, I had barely coped on Friday, and really didn't need more stress Saturday. So I allowed her to give me a guilt trip, because it was niggling at me already about my choice not to go.

Illness, funerals - bring out the character of accidental 'relatives'; sometimes one's mental health requires the permanent cutting-off of contact with the toxic. Y'know?

Well, I can't permanently cut off the relatives, as I'm kinda what you'd call the Family Information Source, being the one who puts out the monthly letter, the Family report, and runs the Yahoo group for them. But yeah, I do intend not to call this particular Aunt for awhile, if I can avoid it. And I also have Caller ID, so I can "avoid" her. ;)

Thanks for the support, Ashton.

Brenda