What’s a “douche bag”? A bag for carrying one’s douche around?
As for the rest—well, I’d be annoyed if my 11-year-old came out with such an unoriginal string of oh-so-shocking projected imagery.
Bestiality, check. STDs, check. Incest, check. Necrophilia, check [work it out, idiot]. Parental jabs, check. Homophobia, check.
From you, an apparently grown adult, it’s flat-out embarrassing.
As an aside, I can honestly say that reading your post is the first time I have had cause to consider the concept of “donkey semen”.