It would seem that, while you 'keep accounts' (see no point in imagining you could.. forget, anyway?) there is an unusual aspect to your remembering. That is - you don't periodically 'stick pins in the effigy' (!) If that is too obtuse, I could expand.

I do not doubt that you indeed 'work' as described - only I would wonder if, 'forgiveness' may not be so alien to you as you assert: it is / appears to be the periodic internal "dredging up and reexperiencing of a slight" - which is what many mean by - 'not forgiving'. Instead, you also notice periodically: if improvement has occurred.

But all human relationship is based on the sum of all exchanges, some recalled more strongly than others. I see here a weighting which occurs - as naturally as the integral of the curve.. with inflection points noted :-\ufffd (Nahh - math will never apply re humans)

Not trying to be cute here - but your view is more akin to ~ "a wiser 'forgiveness'" than not, as I perceive your words.


Ashton