Are you finding that, without the mechanical, daily! mindless office KeepBusy AtAllTimes + OnYourTimeToo: your brain is maybe functioning more Norm-ally?
May you continue to be surprised at how easy lots of stuff is, when you have control of your time and environment back.. If all goes well - I'd bet that you can find another less-rapacious field in which to work - without Hating It. Gawd knowz Which field -- but that's what we call discovery, y'know?
Ashton