You have a good heart, Norman. You get shat upon when you embark on stuff you haven't done your homework on - like the bit about ID. And that's a red flag to those who find the same sort of weak arguments all around us, on many hot button 'issues'. At that moment - you sort of symbolize.. the rather sorry state of communication almost everywhere (at least that's my theory).

Yours and deS's styles, interests are quite different - I don't know if you could cut each other enough slack. Yes, it would be nice if the both of you could lay off judgments long enough to have a beer and throw some darts. Neither of you is malevolent, and I think you understand that his proddings are not meant to injure.. it's good that you can see that. I don't know what it would take to "clear the slate". Maybe a time-out period, instead of any more one-sided 'debate' (?)

It's also true that no one else can 'picture' how it is your mind is playing tricks on you -- but notice that when you are improving, people do / have congratulated you upon that.

No, I certainly don't mean to suggest "that you become mean" (and if I did, why should you listen, anyway?) I greatly mistrust the extremely widespread doping (now extended to millions of children) as much as does deS. I believe this represents an abdication of patient, personal attention - that it is largely an economic choice, one which characterizes these times of massive Corporate greed in the ascension. That attention costs $, and I understand that you don't have those.

I also cannot walk in your moccasins. I know someone else (who feels as I do re the ez-dope path) yet who occasionally needs some of this dope. She hates doing it, but she knows her own body, limitations, better than anyone (and certainly better than a rent-a-Dr. from some HMO). Perhaps you are in a similar fix.

It is vital to pay close attention to dosages of any of these powerful drugs, so as to take the minimum dose as works; and as infrequently as you can get away with. If you can pay that much attention - I hope you will. That means keeping a record in whatever shorthand you can create. Only you can have enough patience to do that well.

Meanwhile, you've probably got the more important part right - nobody here 'hates' you (or Owlet); simply - if you play in the debate game, you'll be dissed if you haven't the cards you bid.. y'know?


Peace,
I.