Post #117,750
9/13/03 11:34:29 PM
9/14/03 12:11:46 AM
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DeMotivational Posters
You know those great motivational posters the bosses sometimes buy to "build us up" with the useless motivational stuff?
[link|http://www.despair.com|Check This Out]
These look just like the "real thing", but they're really the opposite. They are "hilarious"!
One of our workers recently fired for "His Attitude" left his despair.com poster on the wall. The year was running out, so I thought I might replace it, even though it is hung in an empty cube.
Just don't let anyone see me do it. It's funny, because the guy's gone, but the poster remains in "honor" of him, even though the boss hated him. The months somehow magically get changed, even though no-one changes it.
Glen Austin
Edited by gdaustin
Sept. 13, 2003, 11:55:16 PM EDT
Edited by gdaustin
Sept. 13, 2003, 11:55:23 PM EDT
Edited by gdaustin
Sept. 14, 2003, 12:11:46 AM EDT
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Post #117,758
9/14/03 12:35:21 AM
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Wow...
Those are great!
I hate those "other" posters...but our group sec has them all over the place...maybe a creative substitution is in order :)
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over. Fudd's First Law of Opposition
[link|mailto:bepatient@aol.com|BePatient]
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Post #117,761
9/14/03 1:24:42 AM
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bookmarked, ta
"You're just like me streak. You never left the free-fire zone.You think aspirins and meetings and cold showers are going to clean out your head. What you want is God's permission to paint the trees with the bad guys. That wont happen big mon." Clete
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #117,775
9/14/03 11:07:47 AM
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Career suicide
Are you ready to quit?
This type of activity is a fireable offense in most companies.
Maybe not directly. But they will get rid of you.
I love these posters. I've been in and out of the site
many times. And I would NEVER put one up at the office.
Yes, I'm the corporate kiss-ass. At least to some people.
There are certain things you do not do in public in a corporate
environmnet unless you are SURE your boss is about to
be fired. This is one of them. And even then, unless
you are the new boss, this will still be bad for you.
Either work from within the system to make it better, or leave.
Note: This is not an "America, love it or leave it" rant.
A company is not your country. You have no political rights.
Someone is paying you to be there.
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Post #117,779
9/14/03 4:01:18 PM
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On the other hand...
I bought six of the small desktop ones recently. One went to my PFY, one went to each of the four team leaders (read: managers), and one went to the customer-support team. Each spoke to a particular aspect of that person (or group). :) They were all well-received and are still up on their desks. So not *every* company is a Borg colony. Sorry to hear yours is. :(
"There's a set of rules that anything that was in the world when you were born is normal and natural. Anything invented between when you were 15 and 35 is new and revolutionary and exciting, and you'll probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're 35 is against the natural order of things." Douglas Adams
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Post #117,781
9/14/03 4:35:01 PM
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On the other other hand
I know someone who is happily displaying
his series on his desk and his wall.
He has for over a year.
It's just amazing how his once promising career has
tanked. Not fired, no. But obviously someone
who can't be trusted to talk to customers or make
deals with partners or direct new employees, or
(this list goes on and on).
Once you've gone into the "DeMotivational" mode it really
shows. We all may find it humorous. But there is a far
darker side that just emanates to those who have to look
for good things in the future. And those ARE the people
in charge.
This is not Borglike. It is recognizing the reality that depressed
people make other people depressed. which is damaging to the
workplace environment productivity And these posters shout it out.
So either that particular person needs to be fixed or isolated or
removed. The fix might be a corporate wide issue, which in turn
might mean an alteration of how the business works, or it
might be particular to this person. Either way, there is a problem
that should be addressed, not merely humorously glossed over
or ignored.
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Post #117,798
9/14/03 7:45:23 PM
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""This is not Borglike.""___OK, now I really want to hear
your response to my other request for Clarification.
Did we see the Same Borg episodes on that popular Tee Vee Series?
Ashton
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Post #117,837
9/15/03 9:48:36 AM
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Demotivation Posters are not about dispair
or pessimism. They are about deflating your ego and laughing at advercity. Both traits very useful for getting your work done. Sorry to hear about your managers who don't recognise this. It's too bad that a brain like yours has to rot in such a place.
--
One Buffalo Bill
And one Biffalo Buff
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Post #117,905
9/15/03 11:52:33 PM
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Some of them are. Depends
And how do you know that "a brain like mine" doesn't excel in this evironment?
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Post #118,002
9/17/03 9:56:18 AM
9/17/03 9:58:27 AM
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You have my support
I agree with you and you have my support.
You also have my admiration for willingly
throwing yourself on your sword for the
benefit of those who need to get a tonic
by showing how "liberated" they are compared
to the rest of the world.
The irony is that those who would say "you're
an ass for not liking this" are falling into
the EXACT trap which so many PHBs fall into.
("Liberated ....... the freedom to slag someone
else off for their belief system.")
I suspect that your detractors don't know (or remember)
what it is to work for a great company which is
essentially healthy.
To the rest of you:
My position....... go with what works. If you think you
can run a functional and profitable business by giving away
"customers are morons" coffee cups. Have at it!
Then you can write a book describing what you learned from your
experience, get a few thousand copies printed and not sell any of them....
because..... well it sucks to succeed right? And not selling a single
copy would be even funnier. Oh how they all laughed as they
cleaned out their drawers.
Ideas:
"Your vote is meaningless and worth nothing" (for the voting booth)
"Don't bother to breathe if you don't get any visitors" (for the hospital ward)
Piece de resistance:
"This cheesy poster is the best I can do to feel that I'm making
a difference in the world" (for the workplace and your living room).
-Mike
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)
Edited by Mike
Sept. 17, 2003, 09:58:27 AM EDT
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Post #117,794
9/14/03 6:42:09 PM
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Perfect Example
[link|http://www.despair.com/burnout.html|http://www.despair.com/burnout.html]
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Post #117,797
9/14/03 7:41:03 PM
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So then..
Submission is the wisest course.
And.. It's OK - because, in a Corp office in Murica '03
They Indeed Own Your Right to express a thought
(Unless.. it's Their Thought too)
In which case - contrary thought would fall under
Firing for Cause\ufffd.
As properly It Should.
(Corollary - "notheycan'tfireyouforthat" -Yet- but it will be OK
as next, a 'charge' is trumped-up to Get You Outtathere.)
Is this what you just sorta said?
I'd rather be Clear about What You Mean, y'know?
Ashton
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Post #117,801
9/14/03 8:05:02 PM
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Close
> Submission is the wisest course.
Do not sneak around doing things. The poster replacement is sneaky. You get
no chance to actually change things. That one is a direct fireable, no excuses needed.
If you do it directly, without any constructive engagement, you still SHOULD be
fired. Whether or not they need to trump something up. You are a whiner. If you
are ALSO a prima donna, and worth a lot of money, then they should keep you,
yet isolated so your attitude won't poison others. But real prima donnas don't
often whine about being treated poorly by the company. If you are replaceable then
you should be replaced. If you are not replaceable, then your boss should be
replaced for failing to staff as needed. And then the next guy will either perpetuate
the work environment that you find objectionable or fix things. If he keeps it as
it was, maybe the old boss wasn't the problem. It is either the total company
or YOU. If it is the total company, and you aren't in a position to fix it, get out.
If you choose to stay, then work with it to make it better.
If you do it with some constructive engagement, whether with your boss or other
levels up, then good luck to you. Maybe you will be a positive influence on your
company and the people around you. But you will lose credibility with this type
of display. If you skip your boss and go a level up be prepared for war.
So, what is your goal? Momentary jollies at the expense of your boss or the
rest of the management chain? Great. Until you are fired and your children
are starving.
No kids, no wife, no responsibilities? Have a blast.
Money in the bank and can walk for an extended period? Great.
There is a reason this is called "FU money".
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Post #117,808
9/14/03 9:34:32 PM
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Just gotta Love 'Biz Darwinism'
(IIRC - zIWE has 'done' the Social Darwinism shtik, a few eons back)
and the intricate rationalizations via which:
A) the merely offensive is accepted, morphs to
B) the intolerable .. gradually
C) reaches the deeply intrusive - that which:
Forces one to lie abjectly {and consistently} on all levels of thought.
- no longer merely about the few +points of the shoddily engineered and QC'd product (whether that product be a toy in a box or the mind-fucking end-'product' of YAN dissembling Ad campaign, selling the unnecessary to the suggestible, by any verbal means possible).
OK - a bit clearer now, yet lacking a denouement.
(No Wonder! that no one Ever gets the message to an ENRON CIEIO that he's a complete Asshole and Menace to all living things - ethically, intellectually and all other connotations.)
Guts: don't leave home with them. Right?
Tell me lastly, then - is there *any* indignity you might next be asked to put in the Company Manual under Our Ethics \ufffd
{Hey.. M$'s got one too! Bet Yours has..}
which you would:
A) refuse to accept / work under? Period. (Would the PAY Help decide?)
B) if ~ < A): find a rationale for Not Noticing Any Implications-of?
Any?
.
.
.
(a partial-list would do, just to complete the er calibration of the kinds of crap you poor bastards not only eat - but seem to find Nutritious too:
it's pure excrement! / it's a dessert topping! / Learn to Love It as Both.. and Prosper!:-)
Ashton
Crank? assuredly..
But I was able to complete a couple careers without ever facing anything Like the Shit you are implicitly deeming
merely.. Normal- And OK! via an undoubtedly current '03 Mindset.
Look.. this is Research. OK?
.. and ya really Have to Love/Hate
cubicle-dwellers who can laugh at incarceration jokes..
(izzat like the goldfish ridiculing the cockamamie idea that "there's water" around them?)
Oh Caves! wherein hath gone thine Allegorical Sting?
:-\ufffd
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Post #117,814
9/14/03 10:13:17 PM
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I don't know
You see it as a massive intrusion.
Something that is coercive.
Something that you are forced to suffer under.
I see it as a trade.
They give me money, I behave a certain way.
Do I clean toilets? No.
Would I for the same pay? For a while.
Do I behave in front of clients? Yup.
Do I piss off other department heads which in turn
would get my boss in trouple? Nope.
Am I treated well?
Yup.
Do I see other people treated not as well as me?
Yup.
Do they contribute as much as me?
Not that I can see.
Does it bother me that they are in cubicles and
I'm in an office?
No.
In my case, I truly like what I do for my job. I'd
do most of it for free if I could afford to live otherwise.
Coding is fun. Sytem design is fun. Negotiating is Fun.
Sure, I have unreasonable deadlines and things I'd like
to change, but all in all I have a good deal.
The more you give, the more you get.
It is a trade.
The company values certain things more than others.
One of the highest things is values is a harmonious workplace.
Without that, nothing else is possible.
You feel there are certain things you don't exchange for pay.
I agree with the concept. I won't kill for it. I think.
But after that, pretty much everything is negotiable.
Certainly the concept of "free speech". No such thing.
They pay for my time. During that time, they pretty much control
EVERYTHING I do. They can't cause me pain, nor ignore my
bodily functions. Teacher wearing diapers? That crosses the
line. Unless they want to quadruple my pay. Then I'd consider it.
I had a counseler who asked a group of people:
What wouldn't you do for a million dollars? Assuming no ramifications
other than the memory of the act itself. No jail time.
My answer: Line 'em up, I'll suck'em off. Gimme an UZI and point me in
a direction. Whatever you want.
This was the standard answer of most of the people. Those that disagreed
would often waffle a while and then come up with situations where they
would break their strong moral line. It wasn't money, but there was always
a leverage point.
That was before I had kids. Now I'd balk at killing them for the million.
But I'd think about it for a few seconds. Maybe a minute for my daughter.
Does that answer your question?
I quit over being put in a cubicle 7 years ago. Would I do it again? No.
I'd explain why it was killing my ability to be productive and then negotiate
my way into an office. Part of maturing is understanding how to communicate
effectively. That does not typically include insulting the person you are talking
to.
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Post #117,817
9/14/03 11:39:03 PM
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Thanks.
Yours goes in the honest reply undiluted with BS table. (That one's so short it doesn't even need to be indexed. I store it in braille on the world's second British Guiana One Cent magenta postage stamp. ;-) Oh: Each one from this list gets a footnote in The Thesis, should I ever feel the need for more academic Assurances I Am Greater Than Most.
I'll confess to the 'Don't Know' on lots of the Catch 22 questions out there, too.
(And while "walking onin others' moccasins and all" ever applies -- I see that I'd settle for / have settled for less$ and more-Moi than some of the examples suggested.) I've grown accustomed to needing very few of the Things To Die For, an actual surprise! {how easily I adapted} when I made a premeditated choice to trade My-time+neurons for Theirs.
With kids, of course all equations must become abnormalized - a factor I Know I cannot simulate even as a what-if. Prolly I'd Kill for {some} kids {not at all necessarily.. My-sperm spawned, either} - I've never pretended to religio-pacifism, or any of the other Manual-prescribed Goodnesses conjured up by Cloaked Crusaders for Conformity. {just more Job Security - that}
So, I guess mine is an easier course than yours + kids, and I have no pious judgments to pronounce (and if I did: I'd hope to be massively murdered, rhetorically at least ;-) After all - at zIWE: its the soich fer Truth what Counts!
Yours for a culture possessed of fewer Wants, less satisfiction with thing-collection and more Appreciation for humans generally -- (Oh.. and.. On Time, screw the Budget == while we still Can make that choice, natch.)
I Who Be
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Post #117,832
9/15/03 8:09:46 AM
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You missed something
I didn't say I'd kill for them.
I said I'd consider killing them.
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Post #117,872
9/15/03 3:55:58 PM
9/15/03 4:40:39 PM
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Consideration is 66.17% of acceptance______:-\ufffd
BTW on reflection - {it's even Scarier}
Your brief but comprehensive essay makes clearest why it IS that none of the massive techno- and even socio- reasoning re the Mega-kluge which Doze is.. ever penetrates. In an atmosphere such as you describe, the 'verity' of ANY remark or reply is, in time - automatically filtered to perfection into the what 'they' wish to hear today bin (at least - among all those who stay for a time). If I read with comprehension.
Were I writing a Discworld clone, I could use your description of Bizness in Ankh-Morpork as a veritable storyboard backbone for describing the fear-factor which inhibits honest communication.. (and it does no 'good' that, via subtle and gradual innuendo, one might.. get across a small fraction of a Large idea. With trepidation, palpable Risk.)
ie. No Wonder! US-bizness Sucks Galaxy-sized spiked objects (and for that matter -- any other places that rote emulate Our Style). No Wonder either.. the depression, the ennui.. the fucking earned cynicism culminating in some variety of disgust - whenever some unfortunate near-Original thinker might find self amidst such regimented fluff.
Poor {naive} Bastard! Get. Out. and Live... *anywhere else*. Or shrivel down, to fit inside that Armani brain-armor + Power Leash around that constricted vulnerable neck.
Great sociology stuff! At least I finally grok to fullness the utter futility of what used to be called dialogue; it's all Monologue signifying nada, at baby-talk level of both sincerity and content. [No doubt there are a few exceptions.. At your level of tentative-acceptance, for possessing techno competence they Know they need: maybe you get an exemption from some of the affectations? Hope so.] But then.. you get to close a real door! too
Mr. Lay sez, "Gosh! nobody TOLD me.." and everyone Rolls Eyes. But.. WTF WOULD 'tell' Shark #1 that Unpleasant Thought #1 .. such a tangled web we weave when first we build a bizness on deceit -but please to call it- Team Spirit cha. cha. ca. ca. A Petri dish for the likes of Billy et al - who, like bin-Laden, perfectly Understand "how it Is that We Are.. here": Shark-meat.
{Gawd} Am I Glad: I Missed This !!! as in fucking {Whew!}
Causes me to feel even-Freer! by comparison, y'know?
So - It's an even Better Day! {out here} :-) :-)
Thanks again for the horrifying Survival Primer,
Ashton
{Whew} {Aaahhhhhh}
Edit: add comments
Edited by Ashton
Sept. 15, 2003, 04:40:39 PM EDT
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Post #117,898
9/15/03 7:51:11 PM
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Nope again
Disagree.
I don't filter what I say to my boss.
I don't filter what I say to HIS boss, the CIO.
I don't filter what I say to HIS boss, the CEO.
If something broken, I tell them.
But I don't bitch to other employees.
I don't gossip.
I don't backstab.
But I will openly advocate firing incompetent people
within my own department, and subtly advocate the
same in others. To people who can make the decision.
Nor do I seed dissent. If someone is bitching, I
tell them to document it and send it as an email to their
boss.
I KNOW one of the reasons I am valued to highly is they
can trust me to tell them when something is wrong.
On the other hand, people to bitch to me since I have
no problem working the levels above me to get something
done.
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Post #117,923
9/16/03 8:32:12 AM
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sometimes you think you'll do it for free :-)
"You're just like me streak. You never left the free-fire zone.You think aspirins and meetings and cold showers are going to clean out your head. What you want is God's permission to paint the trees with the bad guys. That wont happen big mon." Clete
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #118,371
9/21/03 2:57:50 PM
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Unlike you, I guess I don't need a million dollars
As you well know, I will choose sacrifice a lot to maintain the level of life that I appreciate, and to be able to maintain choices that I have made. Of course when I make such a choice, it is a lock that in time I will find a way to make the choice that I really want.
Beyond that I am not greedy. I currently earn more than I need to. I could easily earn even more - but don't because I appreciate the work environment.
So at present I literally could not be paid enough to be seriously unhappy with my life for a bit. A million is not worth twice what $500,000 is to me, nor is $500,000 worth 5 times $100,000. But $100,000 is worth well more than triple $33,333.33.
Actually that is false. I could be paid enough to be unhappy with my life for a bit. The necessary threshold is enough money that I never have to think about working again. But as long as I have to think about working again, I don't want to leave the workforce (because re-entering is hard), and so increased money doesn't really matter to me.
I guess that I have cheap tastes. :-)
Cheers,
Ben
"good ideas and bad code build communities, the other three combinations do not"
- [link|http://archives.real-time.com/pipermail/cocoon-devel/2000-October/003023.html|Stefano Mazzocchi]
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Post #117,811
9/14/03 9:56:48 PM
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PS: what you refer to as "jollies"
describes precisely.. that humour.. which always and everywhere signifies -
The last refuge of a rational mind, surrounded by closed-doors and amid minds such as must generate -
An inhuman and inhumane oppressive environment wherever found: in home, church, school, government, medical 'association/monopoly', Dictatorship.. ie Anywhere!
You smarl that away in your (undoubtedly skilled) choice of words.
I am appalled at your overt acceptance? nay - applause!
Ashton
not easily appalled during the Shrub Cabal's tenure
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Post #117,807
9/14/03 9:29:23 PM
9/14/03 9:31:54 PM
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You tell me...
I worked close to 16 hours Thursday (1am).
I was told I could go home Friday at about 1pm. I ended up going home at 4:15pm.
I would told in the middle of the afternoon that my attendance was required for the Saturday sales meeting, to demo our product. We had the sales meeting, then a meeting with the CEO to make another to-do list.
Then I did manage to get to my daughter's soccer game at 3:30pm. Then back home to work with the trading partner we're working with for the demo. Worked from 6pm to close to 11pm.
Did manage to make it to church this morning. 1pm, started working with the trading partner again. We worked to 4pm, then I needed something from the office, started into the office, then realized a way to do without it. Came back home, and am still working with trading partner. Just finished at 8:30pm.
I've got to finish with this trading partner, then work on the CEO's list.
Tomorrow we have to consolidate the efforts of 4 people into our "final" demo, put it on the demo laptop, then on Tuesday, hop on a plane to the trade show to show our work.
Maybe, by next Thursday or Friday, I'll get a good night's sleep.
Actually, I'll probably chicken out on the poster, but someone else might not.
Edited by gdaustin
Sept. 14, 2003, 09:31:54 PM EDT
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Post #117,810
9/14/03 9:52:26 PM
9/14/03 10:04:59 PM
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You're right....
I probably shouldn't take chances with the job, they are so scarce now.
I just think it's funny that the poster remains after the guy is gone.
I think it's funny that someone takes the time to change it (and I'm not changing it)!
So, obviously people are looking at it.
We've had several people terminated for attitude, the rest appear to be gone for working "normal hours", working "from home" (even though it's allowed verbally).
I probably should try to get in the office earlier.
It's more difficult than the prior environment where the boss made the rules (even if they were unreasonable), and you followed the rules, and you didn't question or try to abrograte the rules. The rules were the rules, whether you liked them or not. But at least you knew the rules.
This place is more unclear. Work at home is allowed, but a guy got fired because he "took it too far". One thing for sure, bad attitudes are NOT tolerated. You can come in any time you want, but I'm afraid of coming in much past 9am. (and I should probably be making it more like 8am) I think some tolerance should be given (and it is to some extent) when you're still working at 9pm or 1am the prior night.
Glen
Edited by gdaustin
Sept. 14, 2003, 10:04:59 PM EDT
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Post #117,815
9/14/03 11:17:07 PM
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Good
Not that I like seeing you in a bad coercive situations. Just I'd rather you
make a rational move, getting a new job, on YOUR schedule.
I hate seeing people fired for stupid reasons. And this is a stupid
one. But people don't realize how dangerous it is.
Good luck.
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Post #117,924
9/16/03 8:35:00 AM
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so starting a dead pool on the company when RIF's
are flying wildly,
maybe thats why,,,
nevermind,
thanx,
bill
"You're just like me streak. You never left the free-fire zone.You think aspirins and meetings and cold showers are going to clean out your head. What you want is God's permission to paint the trees with the bad guys. That wont happen big mon." Clete
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #117,796
9/14/03 7:10:59 PM
9/14/03 7:30:16 PM
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I'll Drink to your missing gutsy Poster Boy; so few of those
And the link's theme pic . . .
...the 24/7 Artificial glaring lighting {so handy for those who never get to see The Sun} or their kids, in daylight. Or a Tree. Or a live critter.
..the Corp-Uniform of blood-throttling-to-brain Power Tie + Armani
..the almost Escher-like geometrical pattern suggesting
..(out of a er Matrix-Mother-teat, but scaled down) -
..infinite regression of identical Open-top pens.
{so's ya can't even fart in peace}
Hamster-cubicles.. missing Nothing of that cage except perhaps
.. a Full-sized feeder-bottle! and a Guy with whip, intoning.. Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
{for the Soma? + today's new audio TLAs via attached Ear-buds\ufffd? an exercise wheel to run the Corp Laptop as is always open to Content Inspection and secured by Outlook Express?}
Yup, the advert for The Posters makes the ensuing content.. follow naturally
{Who amongst us -even us non-participants- could Not have written each one?}
Bizness as Living Comic Book Art! .. should there be any
..future generations?
to appreciate it.
Ashton
Edit - fanciful musings added; WTF.. make lemonade
Edited by Ashton
Sept. 14, 2003, 07:30:16 PM EDT
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