To ask people not to put you in the middle?

Absolutely not. Very wrong and rude of them to put you in a position where you have to ask.

Thanks that is really I guess, what I wanted to hear. I think my biggest problem with the whole situation is that I had to actually cut someone off, (end an online friendship) because this person refuses to stop doing just that, putting me in the middle time and time again. I feel bad because I decided to cut him off though, because I'm usually someone who works hard to find other solutions besides that one. But he's been doing this for over a year now, and well... I don't see any sign of a change in sight. (sigh).

And that third way, when it works out really well, isn't a matter of going partway. The best is when you can counter-offer with more than what was asked for, but more of something that doesn't stress you.

Okay, that makes sense, and I think I'm actually doing that with a project the church asked me to do for them. I at first felt overwhelmed with their request, but then they told me to use my creativity and imagination, and I turned it into a fun project rather than a chore. :) Is that what you mean? Plus, I am in a sense making it nicer than they asked for (it's arranging a bunch of pictures on posterboard with headings and etc, but I made it more decorative). Is that what you mean by offering more than what was asked for, but it doesn't stress you?

Thanks for your input. I honestly think I just have to come to terms with the fact that it's ok to take care of me, and when people aren't willing to go along with that, (such as the person I cut off), they can't be part of my life.

Nightowl >8#