I know it's hard. :-( The past has a very strong hold on many, many people. That's why it's good to develop a poor memory. :-)

You can't control how she feels about things or how she reacts. All you can do is try your best.

She does seem to have some sort of infection. Stay with her, let that heal up and try not to carry any resentment about the vacation.

I'm torn between being the supportive husband and staying home, and forcing her to face the reality that I cannot be her entire life.

I don't think there are any pat answers for situations like this. Sometimes people need to be forced to snap out of their funk and stand on their own; sometimes they need support that may last for years while they slowly gain confidence and feel happy again. I don't think there's any way to know in advance which category a person fits into.

Does she like to read? I thought the Dalai Lama's book [link|http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573221112/qid%3D1057163845/002-0038765-9647237|The Art of Happiness] was pretty good.

Sincere best of luck.

Cheers,
Scott.