I think the decisions would all be wrong no matter what - no matter who made them (other than Grandma - that's what the problem is, sounds like she's the onl) and no matter what they were.

This way, being that you are already the black sheep, nobody loses status.

I don't know your family, but there is a very good chance of it collapsing completely now that she's gone. Not sure whether that's a bad thing or not.