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New So infertile people shouldn't be able to marry?
Boxley wrote:

just wanted to make my point that marriage is a religious ceremony not a state function and most christian sects require kids.
No more no less


Marriage used to be about a lot of things:

1) Allowing people to have sex.
2) Cementing economic and political relationships between families, especially among the rich or powerful (e.g. dowries).
3) The creation of children.
4) Religious consecration of a union between a man and one (or more) women.

It has had a mixture of religious, cultural, and state aspects for a very long time (recall, e.g. Henry VIII and Catherine the Great). One could probably argue that in prehistory #2 was important before the religious aspects were. Saying that "marriage is a religious ceremony" is incorrect because it's too sweeping a simplification.

I'm unaware that Christian sects require a commitment to children in order to sanctify a marriage. Even in Catholicism, IIRC, the vows mention raising children in the Church, not that children must be produced.

Are you saying that some Christian churches wouldn't permit the marriage of someone who is infertile? Or that a woman who was 60 wouldn't be able to marry in a Christian church?

[edit: typo]

Cheers,
Scott.
Expand Edited by Another Scott Jan. 14, 2004, 10:53:32 PM EST
New Thank you!
You explained it all so much better than me, but that was my basic point, that marriage isn't just about producing children. :)

Nightowl >8#


"It is understanding that gives us an ability to have peace. When we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, and he understands ours, then we can sit down and work out our differences." Harry S. Truman

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." Timothy Bentley
New Catholics come close
Catholics come close to saying that marrige for anything other then the purpose of having children is wrong. It is a fundamental tenet of the Catholic faith that the primary function of marriage is having and raising children. The social and other functions of a marriage are secondary.

Also, the Catholic church does say that impotent/infertile people can not get married. Currently the Catholic church only enforces that rule when physical imparement prevents consumation of the marriage, but in the past they have read it far more broadly. I believe the religious term in "dire impediment", it's a list of things that prevent a marriage from being valid. Most of them are sensible things like forcing somebody to say the vows or already being married.

Jay

New Interesting.
It does seem that that's a bit of doctrine that isn't enforced these days. [link|http://www.leaflets.on.ca/marriage.htm|This] page lists 8 necessary conditions for a valid Catholic marriage. #7 is:

7. Who intend to have a family

There are certainly people out there who would like to have children and are unable to. I don't think that the Catholic church demands annulments of marriages in those cases, but wouldn't be surprised if it was different in earlier times.

Thanks.

Cheers,
Scott.
New Thank you for your view
My Uncle got married and he and his wife could not have children. I have a cousin who also has that in her marriage. Nobody annulled their marriages, it was Catholic weddings.

Of course, nothing can prevent them from getting married at city hall, Las Vegas, on a boat, another religion, etc. There are other ways to get married.



"Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English!" - Corbin Dallas "The Fifth Element"

New Why should they marry?
hindu
[link|http://www.vnn.org/editorials/ET0310/ET12-8400.html|http://www.vnn.org/e...10/ET12-8400.html]
Marriage is a very important part of every society. It binds families together, and provides the social glue by which we regulate our senses. Whether grihasta or gramhidi, it defines obligations, rights and expectations, particularly benefiting children. In fact, its primary purpose is to provide a religious and stable environment for children to grow up in. Srila Prabhupada often pointed out that if women are freely available for sexual exploitation by men, then there is less incentive for the men to marry and protect women. ("When there is milk available in the marketplace, why keep a cow?"). His position is that women should always be protected by a father, husband or son. Krishna states in Bhagavad-Gita, "I am sex-life which is not contrary to the vedas". Conversely, unwanted children, the product of illicit sex, bring about a chaotic society, a fact which Arjuna states in the first chapter of Bhagavad-Gita.
fer the kiddies

Christian Sect
[link|http://www.cssr.net/repchret/english/sacraments/answer21.htm|http://www.cssr.net/...ents/answer21.htm]
If one wanted to get married with the absolute and irrevocable intention of rejecting the possibility of having children, the Church could not bless this marriage. It would be against God's plan.
fer the kiddies

Mormons
[link|http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/daily/history/plural_marriage/menvswomen.htm|http://www.lightplan...ge/menvswomen.htm]
Latter-day Saint men can presently be married to only one living woman at a time. However, from an eternal perspective, men may be sealed to more than one wife while women may only be sealed to one husband. In other words, men may have more than one wife in heaven. Why is this the case? The primary reason for the practice of plural marriage is to raise up righteous seed unto God. It is not for sexual gratification. The Book of Mormon states:
fer the kiddies

Chinese Presbyterian
[link|http://www.otweb.com/bible/atpcem/Relate4.html|http://www.otweb.com...pcem/Relate4.html]
Fruitfulness

Another purpose is in the first commandment given to man from God.

(6) Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.This commandment I find is one of the most difficult to truly believe. But God has been changing my attitude about this during the past half year. Before I was content in just having 2 children. Now, I\ufffdd like to have much more than 2.
The first commandment given by God to man is to be fruitful. We\ufffdre commanded to have lots of children.
The Bible says that it\ufffds a blessing to have a lot of children.
(7) Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth. Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

fer the kiddies

Muslim

On of the most important purposes of marriage is to continue and increase the population of the Muslims. Clearly, this goal could be achieved without marriage, but when actions are undertaken in disobedience to Allah, they do not receive the blessing of Allah and the whole society is corrupted. The Prophet (sas) said:

"Ankihoo fa inniy mukaathirun bikum al umam yaum al-Qiyama"
"Marry, for I will outnumber the other nations by you on Qiyama." (Ibn Majah - Sahih)

It should be stressed that the goal is not simply to produce any child that will live in the next generation. It is to produce righteous children who will be obedient to Allah and who will be a source of reward for their parents after they die. The Prophet (sas) will NOT be boasting before the other nations on the day of Qiyama with children of Muslim parents who left the path of Islam. Thus it is the responsibility of Muslim parents to seek the means of giving their children the training and education they need not just to grow, but to succeed as Muslims worshipping and obeying Allah. This obligation may include migration (hijrah), establishing of Muslim communities and schools and other obligations. As the scholars have said in another principle of fiqh:

"Maa laa yutimmu al-wajibu illa bihi fa huwa wajib."
"That without which an obligation cannot be fulfilled is itself obligatory."
fer the kiddies

All you people in sham marriages are going to hell
thanx,
bill










same old crap, con artists ripping off fools. Ah, hell, Catholic Church it start off that way. They All do. Jesus probably had three walnut shells one pea, then he's dead and can't be questioned,
Gabriel Dupre

questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New Ha!
You're cracking me up, Box.

Originally you said:

just wanted to make my point that marriage is a religious ceremony not a state function and most christian sects require kids. No more no less


You're now taking what religions say about marriage as being proof of your claim. It doesn't work that way.

Some other comments about marriage:

[link|http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html|Universal Declaration of Human Rights]:
Article 16.

(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.

(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.


[link|http://www.secularhumanism.org/family/declaration.html|Humanist Declaration on the Preservation of Families]:

# Consenting adults have the right to marry, without any limitation based on race, nationality, religion, or sex. Inter-racial, inter-faith, and same-sex marriage should be given full respect under the law. Representatives of all religious and nonreligious belief groups, as well as civil authorities, should have equal authority to conduct marriage ceremonies.

# A marriage of equal partners is the best foundation for personal growth and family happiness. Marital partners are entitled to equal rights when deciding to marry, during marriage, and at the dissolution of marriage. We oppose all attempts to obstruct or reverse the growth of women's equality and to subordinate women within marriage.


Bertrand Russell in [link|http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/2528/br_sex-m.htm|Marriage and Morals]:

Christianity, and more particularly St. Paul, introduced an entirely novel view of marriage, that it existed not primarily for the procreation of children, but to prevent the sin of fornication.... (I Cor. vii. 1-9.) St. Paul makes no mention whatever of children; the biological purpose of marriage appears to him wholly unimportant. This is quite natural, since he imagined that the Second Coming was imminent and that the world would soon come to an end. At the Second Coming men were to be divided into sheep and goats, and the only thing of real importance was to find oneself among the sheep on that occasion. St. Paul holds that sexual intercourse, even in marriage, is something of a handicap in the attempt to win salvation (I Cor. vii. 32-4). Nevertheless it is possible for married people to be saved, but fornication is deadly sin, and the unrepentant fornicator is sure to find himself among the goats. I remember once being advised by a doctor to abandon the practice of smoking, and he said that I should find it easier if, whenever the desire came upon me, I proceeded to suck an acid drop. It is in this spirit that St. Paul recommends marriage. He does not suggest that it is quite as pleasant as fornication, but he thinks it may enable the weaker brethren to withstand temptation; he does not suggest for a moment that there may be any positive good in marriage, or that affection between husband and wife may be a beautiful and desirable thing, nor does he take the slightest interest in the family; fornication holds the center of the stage in his thoughts, and the whole of his sexual ethics is arranged with reference to it. It is just as if one where to maintain that the sole reason for baking bread is to prevent people from stealing cake. (M.M.p44-47)


[link|http://marriage.about.com/cs/generalhistory/a/marriagehistory.htm|About.com on the History of Marriage]:

Most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species, a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines. The institution of marriage handled these needs. For instance, ancient Hebrew law required a man to become the husband of a deceased brother's widow.


[link|http://www.counterpunch.org/leupp12132003.html|Gary Leupp in Counterpunch] in response to Mitt Romney's comments on marriage (warning - the language is graphic in places):

[...]

Over the last 3,000 years to which you specifically allude (someone else was telling National Public Radio that the Supreme Justice Court ruling defied 5,000 years, which would make departure from precedent even more serious), there has in fact been no global marriage norm. In some societies, a man and woman, of their own free will, formed a relationship, decided to forge a life-long commitment, got the necessary permissions and ceremonial legitimacy, started having sex after that, and maintained a monogamous union thereafter until one died. That's been very unusual, though. Arranged marriages involving varying degrees of input by the couple (usually less by the female) have been more the norm. (Do you realize, Governor, how radically sections of humankind departed from the prior "history" you so validate, when we started insisting on the freedom of young couples to marry without their parent's consent, and to do so based on "love"---which is another complex and evolving historical category? You might perhaps read Friedrich Engels' still relevant book The Origins of the Family, Private Property, and the State, and learn something about how capitalism and the whole notion of the free market played a positive role here.)

For demographic and economic reasons (rather than articulated moral ones), monogamy has generally been far more widespread than polygamy. But in more societies than not, wealthy, powerful men have enjoyed the polygamous option. That of course goes for the ancient Hebrews, whose example inclined the founders of your church, that of the Latter-Day Saints, to enthusiastically endorse the practice from the church's founding in 1830 up to Wilford Woodruff and his Manifesto in 1890. Then, whether due to a divine revelation, or to a desire to get Utah admitted to the Union (it's not for me to judge) LDS up and banned polygamy. Although, of course, some rogue elements continue the practice which mainstream Mormons now consider illicit.

But to agree with three, or five, or twelve thousand years of random past practice would require you, Governor Romney, to oppose the ban that the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has from its inception placed on polygamy. I tell you, though: if you refused to do that, I'd be right there behind you. I'm a tolerant person and I realize that lots of Thai and Nigerian and Saudi guys have multiple wives, and maybe I even sort of lust, Carter-like, in my heart to emulate them. But I'm not a total moral relativist, and as public policy, I think monogamy's the right road, and you should stand firm in its support, never mind the Mormon past, which isn't your fault in any case.

[...]


In short, marriage throughout history has not just been a religious function and it's not just about children.

Really, Box, for someone who has experienced life in so many cultures, I find it hard to believe that you think people should be forced to have a religion in order to be married. Or that you think that married people must have children or else have a "sham" marriage.

Cheers,
Scott.
New your other comments are from recent sources
the same sources that desit was bemouning. My sources was to back the claim of religious beleif and marriage not being a state function. Here in the US state marriages were for the enforcement of wealth sharing. Nothing more and nothing less. Your denial that religion has nothing to do with marriage is hollow and the documentation is from sources that also believe in global one world government and think Israel is an abomination that should be wiped out. Even the last thrust against romney proves MY point.
In some societies, a man and woman, of their own free will, formed a relationship, decided to forge a life-long commitment, got the necessary permissions and ceremonial legitimacy, started having sex after that, and maintained a monogamous union thereafter until one died.
the ceremonial was religious so unless you can pull out non religious state only sanctioned marriages earlier than 1700 I suggest you admit your fault.
thanx,
bill
same old crap, con artists ripping off fools. Ah, hell, Catholic Church it start off that way. They All do. Jesus probably had three walnut shells one pea, then he's dead and can't be questioned,
Gabriel Dupre

questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New Pre-1700? OK, how about this:
[link|http://ks.essortment.com/historyofmarri_rimr.htm|The history of marriage]:

In the time of the Roman Empire (17 B.C.- A.D. 476) the lower classes who became Christians later had common law or free marriages. The father would deliver the bride and the agreement of the two was called a consensus to wed. Then eventually as Christianity spread the church interpreted a "free" marriage as a conscience marriage. This agreement meant that each partner was to keep the marriage vows and the marriage intact.

There were Romans who were very wealthy who would sign documents consisting of listing property rights and letting all know that they wanted this union to be legalized and not to be thought of as a common law marriage. Thus this began the official recording of marriages as we do today. Roman men could dissolve the marriage any time as it was a male privilege, not one accorded to females.

In A.D. 527-565 during the rein of Justinian lawyers drew up laws called the Justinian Code and this was a regulation of their daily life including marriage. Up until the time of the Justinian Code just saying you were married was enough.

Until the ninth century marriages were not church involved. Up until the twelfth century there were blessings and prayers during the ceremony and the couple would offer their own prayers. Then priests asked that an agreement be made in their presence. Then religion was added to the ceremony.


Emphasis added.

I think we're not going to change each other's minds, so I'll let you have the last word.

Cheers,
Scott.
New complete crock of spit and here's why
the early romans had more gods than I have had watery stools
[link|http://www.geocities.com/miekemoran/customes.html|http://www.geocities...ran/customes.html]
a deeper roman tome
[link|http://www.ku.edu/history/index/europe/ancient_rome/E/Roman/Texts/secondary/SMIGRA*/Matrimonium.html|http://www.ku.edu/hi.../Matrimonium.html]
The Romans believed that certain days were unfortunate for the performance of the marriage rites, either on account of the religious character of those days themselves, or on account of the days by which they were followed, as the woman had to perform certain religious rites on the day after her wedding, which could not take place on a dies ater. Days not suitable for entering upon matrimony were the Calends, Nones, and Ides of every month, all dies atri, the whole months of May (Ovid Fast. v.490; Plut. Quaest. Rom. p284) and February, and a great number of festivals (Macrob. Sat. i.15; Ovid Fast. ii.557). Widows, on the other hand, might marry on days which were inauspicious for maidens (Macrob. Sat. l.c.; Plut. Quaest. Rom. p289)

greeks
[link|http://www.cobblestonepub.com/pages/Marriage.html|http://www.cobblesto...ges/Marriage.html]
Once all the marriage arrangements had been settled, preparation could begin. Days in advance, sacrifices and prayers were offered in the temples of the gods, especially that of Hera, the queen of the gods.

my links beat your links
HA!
thanx,
bill

same old crap, con artists ripping off fools. Ah, hell, Catholic Church it start off that way. They All do. Jesus probably had three walnut shells one pea, then he's dead and can't be questioned,
Gabriel Dupre

questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
New The Birth of the Authority Figure
(that one's mine)

This may be the real common denominator, celebrated by all the orgs. Protestations of "subordinating the priest's wills to 'God'" notwithstanding. (Demagoduery?)

In our neck of the woods, St. Paul would seem to be the most overtly traceable root of the Puritan mindset and all that has wreaked.. pick a diseased Authority Figure like a misogynist and and -

Nice sleuthing of a few pithy parts of prolly at least 6666? hits on "history of marriage" ;-) I doubt that the professional self-anointed WiseMan is ever apt to turn himself in, for the duration. But we can at least, attempt to ID the more sociopathic of the genre.

'Marriage' shall as likely continue to be intermixed within all the faux God Said stuff extant, except, wink-w-nudge-n: we Know it's mostly about stuff!



Ashton
     So infertile people shouldn't be able to marry? - (Another Scott) - (10)
         Thank you! - (Nightowl)
         Catholics come close - (JayMehaffey) - (2)
             Interesting. - (Another Scott) - (1)
                 Thank you for your view - (orion)
         Why should they marry? - (boxley) - (5)
             Ha! - (Another Scott) - (4)
                 your other comments are from recent sources - (boxley) - (3)
                     Pre-1700? OK, how about this: - (Another Scott) - (2)
                         complete crock of spit and here's why - (boxley)
                         The Birth of the Authority Figure - (Ashton)

A free PhD thesis anytime someone wants to start 'measuring'.
60 ms