Post #981
7/6/01 11:06:04 AM
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It didn't feel like a choice to me
She's my daughter and I stand by her. It is no more generous than feeding myself is.
I guess it really is a choice, but this kind of runs into the free will vs. character question. Given who we are as family, and who I am, I didn't have many options.
White guys in suits know best
- Pat McCurdy
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Post #986
7/6/01 11:46:16 AM
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That is the way that life is
sometimes you don't really have a choice and someone else decides for you, or the way things unfold you find out that you never had a choice in the matter at all. In some cases you may have a choice, and hope that you didn't pick a wrong one.
Am I the way I am because of choices I made, or the way things had unfolded in my life that I didn't have a choice in?
| "I can see if I want anything done right around here, I'll have to do it myself!" | Moe Howard |
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Post #991
7/6/01 11:58:53 AM
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Was Abortion Discussed?
There really is the point of view that says - this kid may very well grow up unhappy and after the newness of the situation has worn off, your daughter may end up not being a very good parent for the usual reason - she's only a kid. So you end up with a troubled kid and a more troubled grandkid. Unless you yourself are morally opposed, it really should be discussed with her. This kid will certainly displace another in the future who could be raised under better conditions.
IMO abortion is a perfectly acceptable solution, but the message from society is that you are a murderer if you do that. She may actually want an abortion but fear being villified.
Also, you must feel rather guilty about it yourself, as if you failed - well don't. That accomplishes nothing.
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Post #994
7/6/01 12:35:20 PM
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Yes, it was
And we made it very clear that it is a respectable option.
White guys in suits know best
- Pat McCurdy
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Post #1,000
7/6/01 1:04:11 PM
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Harder Question
IMO (and mind you, I'm not a parent) you have every right to apply the authority of parenthood to argue strenuously for *your own* position, whatever that might be - with the final choice remaining with her. Did you do that?
My sister had a kid at the age of 14. I would not want to be without my nephews now, but when I see the wreckage of my sister's life, I can only wonder if alternatives were discussed back then, and whether or not my parents shirked some of their responsibility in the matter. Am I arguing that an abortion in a 14 year old would have been the right thing to do? In a sense, yes - of course in hindsight it's sort of a meaningless argument. My nephews are here, and what's done is done.
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Post #1,018
7/6/01 3:36:35 PM
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No, I didn't argue a position either way.
If she were 14, I probably would have. But she is a very mature 16 year old.
White guys in suits know best
- Pat McCurdy
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Post #995
7/6/01 12:39:15 PM
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choices
There are choices we make that dictate future choices. From the tone of your postings I'd say that this decision was made a long time ago. Good on ya for having the integrity to stick to it. The example you and your wife are setting will have wider influence than you might expect.
Have fun,
Carl Forde
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Post #1,002
7/6/01 1:10:01 PM
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OT! Yes!!!!
Love the picture of Zidgel :)
Jay O'Connor
[i]"Going places unmapped
to do things unplanned
to people unsuspecting"[/i]
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Post #1,015
7/6/01 2:44:54 PM
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Thinking of you and her.
I'll just reiterate what's already been said, save not to give up on the father just yet. The military can change people.
qts
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