The Onion is still brilliant

Post #84,038 by cwbrenn 2/25/03 2:25:15 PM Reply	The Onion is still brilliant [link\|http://www.theonion.com/onion3906/girlfriend_stops_reading.html\|http://www.theonion....tops_reading.html] "Girlfriend Stops Reading David Foster Wallace Breakup Letter At Page 20" "We are all born originals -- why is it so many of us die copies?" - Edward Young
Post #84,115 by Ashton 2/25/03 7:02:17 PM Reply	Ah Yess, the logical serial mind plods on and on and Loses
Post #84,733 by dmarker 2/27/03 8:52:34 PM Reply	My religious upbringing enjoyed this Onion one ... >> God Quietly Phasing Holy Ghost Out Of Trinity HEAVEN\ufffdCalling the Holy Trinity "overstaffed and over budget," God announced plans Monday to downsize the group by slowly phasing out the Holy Ghost. "Given the poor economic climate and the unclear nature of the Holy Ghost's duties, I felt this was a sensible and necessary decision," God said. "The Holy Ghost will be given fewer and fewer responsibilities until His formal resignation from Trinity duty following Easter services on April 20. Thereafter, the Father and the Son shall be referred to as the Holy Duo." [link\|http://www.theonion.com/onion3907/index.html\|http://www.theonion....on3907/index.html] << Cheers Doug
Post #84,740 by a6l6e6x 2/27/03 10:08:32 PM Reply	Hey, the Holy Ghost work can be outsourced to Bangalore! :) Alex "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."\t-- Mark Twain
Post #84,768 by Ashton 2/28/03 1:00:52 AM Reply	In other reports, FLASH !! Evanescent News Services Special Report It is said that a merger is planned. A (former-) Angel, one Lucifer, appears to have come up with a consolidation plan. As you will recall, there has been a bit of a schism between this former Officer and #1. A lot of the bitterness stemmed from a suit brought by Lucifer regarding wholesale plagiarism of his \ufffdMethods, incorporated into V.1.66 of the wildly popular Godbook usually called, just The OT. specifically - the stuff about stoning females for certain stuff done a lot by males, and all that snuff-fantasy advice about doing similar violent things if someone happened to fix a flat On Sunday, or plant two fields of Sinsemilla adjacent.. seems to be the crux of the suit. It seems that #1 and Lucifer have agreed that, the Evil-part is a natural for imbedding into the Good-part - it never was a viable separate part of the OSOT at all -- ya can't have One without the other! afterall. Guesses are that #1 finally submitted his writings to a real editor - and agreed to the merger. Lucifer was unavailable for comemnt, said to be occupied designing something called, "an amphibian-UAV" for next year's contribution to the new concern. The new entity, tentatively titled, God Love/Damn You, Inc. is due to be launched "real soon now", supposedly with a fireworks demonstration of real Pestilence AND Thousands of Warm Puppies Falling from the Skies - somewhere in what is called locally 'The Middle East' Watch for flyers and locusts.

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