I decided to pursue the recruiter with the "fascist" typo below. After some talking it seems I could make a serious chunk of change by helping people try to live with their bad decisions.

Then he mentions they use an online testing outfit called

[link|https://www.teckchek-online.com|https://www.teckchek-online.com]

They want me to take a test on "Java Server Technology".

Of course - I'm a unix guy with Mac OS X and the instructions say:
"To run TeckChek Online requires a PC running a Windows operating system (Windows 95 or better), an Internet connection and either an Internet Explorer 4.01 (or higher) or Netscape Communicator 4.5-4.8 browser."

So I email the tech support people to ask if there's an activex control involved somehow and he says

"We apologize for this limitation. The reason we mandate Windows is
that our product's security features which are implemented in JavaScript do not work on other platforms at the moment due to browser/platform incompatbilities. Naturally we would love to run our tests on all platforms. We are keeping track of the browsers/platforms that are being rejected so if we find enough demand for a certain platform we will spend time on the required code port."

Security? JavaScript? In one sentence? Right.

So God Bless OmniGroup and OmniWeb - I whip open the preference panel and tell it to pretend to be Netscape 4.something on Windows and viola (thats French for "there ya go") - they let me in with the stern warning that once the test begins they can tell if I try to open another browser window and will terminate the test. Which might work - if I do it in this browser. But I've got 5 browsers on this machine and its unix - I don't think they can see whats going on in another process from JavaScript - and it turns out - they can't.

So I look at the first question and its some idl thats riddled with errors and I'm supposed to check the boxes next to the ambiguous statements about what might be wrong with it. Skip. More of the same. Trivia - "the jdbc classes are located in the package java.jdbc" (actually it turns out to be java.sql - like I can remember this).

5 questions like this and I bailed on it.

I sent this back to the HR guy:

No soap.

I was actually able to fake it out by building my own browser* and configuring it to claim to be Netscape on windows - but I looked at (and skipped) half a dozen questions before quitting the test. I also found it trivial to switch to another browser and do lookups on the web during the test - despite their claims that you would be warned and penalized for doing so.

Anyhow, I don't believe this thing tests anything worth keeping in your head.

As an example:

True or false "The ResultSet provides access to the field result"

This sentence is so ambiguous as to be nonsensical.

The ResultSet is an object you get back as a result of executing a query with jdbc. It acts as an iterator over an ordered set of tuples (rows with named or indexed "fields" or columns). ie, you say "select Name, Age, City from Person" and it gives you a list of rows each with 3 boxes containing a person's name, their age, and their city. The ResultSet can only point to one row at a time but can be rolled forwards (and sometimes) backwards over the list to let you process everything that you selected.

Understanding this - what is meant by "field result"?

I don't know - its close enough to something meaningful that, if I'm prepared to cut the asker some slack, I might conclude that they mean result fields - which it does - you can use it to access the resultant fields. But its far enough from correct terminology that maybe I ought to say no - thats not right. Its just not worth the brainpower to ponder.

Example 2 on the same question - "The jdbc classes are located in the package java.jdbc".

Actually, it turns out that its java.sql - not that 1) it matters or 2) that I can remember as I always look it up.

Is this important to know? What do you learn by me not bothering to remember this bit of trivia? My suspicion is that you would draw the conclusion that I don't know how the JDBC api works - and that would be really very incorrect. Trivia != knowledge. Not only do I know how JDBC works (and its predecessor ODBC) but I've written adaptors for and libraries on top of both.

So, I'm declining to take your test. I don't think it measures anything worthwhile.

*No point in giving away the trick.

I wonder if they'll call me back...

Somehow I doubt it.

I didn't really want to move to St Louis anyhow I think.

Voila Jokes

How do you get two Viola players to play in tune?
Shoot one of them.

What's the definition of a minor 2nd?
Two Viola players playing in unison.

How do you know there's a group of Viola players at your door?
None of them can find the key: None of them knows where to come in.

What's the difference between a Viola and an onion?
Nobody cries when they chop up a Viola.

What's the difference between a Viola and a TV dinner?
The Viola doesn't fit in a Microwave oven. (Unless you break the neck off)

What's the difference between a Violin and a Viola?
A Viola burns longer.

What's the difference between a Viola player driving into town and a
plumber driving into town?
The plumber is going to a gig.

What's the difference between a dead Viola player lying in the road and a
dead Country Singer lying in the road.
The Country Singer was going to a record date.

What's the difference between a Viola and a lawnmower?
You can tune the lawnmower.

What's the difference between a Viola and a coffin?
With a coffin the dead person is inside.

What's the difference between a Viola and a trampoline?
You should take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a Viola and scraping your nails on a blackboard?
Vibrato.

What's the difference between a Viola player and a dressmaker?
The dressmaker gets paid to tuck up the frills: A Viola player ...
never mind

Why do Viola players keep their cases on their car dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped spaces.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from a Viola recital.

What do you get when you cross a Viola player with a roadie?
A Viola player with a gig.

Why is playing a Viola solo like wetting your pants?
Both give you a nice warm feeling while everybody moves away from you.

How can you make a Violin sound more like a Viola?
Miss a lot of notes.

How can you tell if a Viola is out of tune?
The bow is moving.

Why do Violin players double on Viola?
So they can get less work.

Why are Viola parts written in Alto Clef?
Harder to prove that wrong notes weren't copying errors.

Where did Alto Clef originate?
Bach took a bribe from a wealthy Viola player.

What's the range of a Viola?
35 yards if you've got a good arm.

What do you call someone who hangs around musicians a lot?
A Viola player.

Who makes the best Viola mutes?
Smith & Wesson.

When do Viola players usually replace their strings?
Right after they finish eating the CrackerJacks.

Why do symphony orchestras use so many Violas?
To make the custodial staff feel superior. Also helps the homeless problem.

What is the most common Viola tuning system for Western music?
Bad-tempered.

Definition of an optimist:
A Viola player with a beeper.

Why don't you see MIDI Violas being used in bands?
Mattel stopped making them.

What kind of microphone works best for Viola in a live band?
A cordless mini condenser with a dead battery.