I'll have to try this someday

Post #435,106 by lincoln 7/10/20 12:16:44 PM 7/10/20 12:16:44 PM Reply	I'll have to try this someday Me: opens door Jehovah's Witness: Can I talk to you about the Lord? Me: Can I talk to you about my new Keto diet? Jehovah's Witness: Can we just pretend like I never knocked? Me: Sure Me: closes door Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous. - - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897
Post #435,110 by boxley 7/10/20 1:31:34 PM 7/10/20 1:31:34 PM Reply	those guys are easy you believe that it is for ordained that the 100k are already getting in yes then why do I have to attend the meetings? Have a nice day "Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts" – Richard Feynman
Post #435,283 by CRConrad 7/21/20 3:49:15 PM 7/21/20 3:49:15 PM Reply	144K, to be precise. Confront them with this number, juxtaposed with the fact that there are ~8.7 million active believers in the world[1] already, and ask WTF the use for you of joining is supposed to be. Queuing up as #8,700,001 for 144,000 spots?!? 1: According to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses#Demographics -- Christian R. Conrad The Man Who (used to think he) Knows Fucking Everything Mail: Same username as at the top left of this post, at iki.fi
Post #435,450 by scoenye 7/28/20 8:10:39 PM 7/28/20 8:10:39 PM Reply	My neighbor used to have fun with them on that one He was a retired teacher and tried to get them to agree to at least some basic scientific principles. Once he got them there... "Never mind the current crop of sinners! What about the Neanderthals? Those poor people didn't even know yet they were doing anything wrong! How can you say they're excluded?!" His favorite was the walls of Jericho. "The only way to get an extra hour of sunlight is to stop the rotation of the Earth. Right?!" "Uhh? Yes...?". "Well then, no wonder the walls came down. Those poor saps in the front lines smacked into it at 900 mph!" By that time, usually the white flag came out and it was off to save more souls... 1500 km/h. Hard conversion :-)
Post #435,113 by mmoffitt 7/10/20 3:30:50 PM 7/10/20 3:30:50 PM Reply	Carlin had the answer. Jehovah's Witness at the door: "I'm here to share the Good News with you." Carlin: "Oh good! Come in! I was just about to sacrifice a goat." bcnu, Mikem It's mourning in America again.
Post #435,114 by boxley 7/10/20 3:58:54 PM 7/10/20 3:58:54 PM Reply	they would want to stay for bbq "Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts" – Richard Feynman
Post #435,123 by Andrew Grygus 7/10/20 6:49:37 PM 7/10/20 6:49:37 PM Reply	My version. "I'm sorry. I'm a Pagan. I have much better Gods (and Goddesses) to choose from than yours." Proselytizers in North America are totally mystified how to approach anyone not already a Christian. None of their scripts work. Singles site: Lady who clearly didn't bother to actually read my profile - she was looking for a "God fearing man". My response: "I'm a Pagan. I know many Gods (and Goddesses), and I don't choose to associate with any I would need to fear".
Post #435,133 by static 7/10/20 11:50:29 PM 7/10/20 11:50:29 PM Reply	The cure they're selling is from their own malaise. Jesus^W evangelicals knocking at the door: "Let me in! I have to save you!" Me, inside: "Save me from what?" Them: "From what I'll do if you don't let me in!" Um...

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