[Er is not 'Latex' y.a.n. ackshul App of some sort?]

Latex abuse... what did I walk in on??

(I've no comparable malady to report but am reminded of the fellow on a farm, operating some sort of chipper-machine);
seems that he had a very-Large OOPs: managed to get both hands TOO-close, somehow managed The Doorknob;
Some. How. managed via mouth + some object ..to dial the phone. Etc.

{{sigh}} It's NOT Easy dwelling in the Xian-End-Times ..a day or so after merely the latest Shoot-up of one's former work-mates brings home
The accelerated Devolution-rate of our fellow-inmates.

(Be thankful that--at least--you have no such 'work-mates' to include You in their internal disintegrations, eh?)
Cheers, moi ;^>