Therapist: What would you say to your dad if he were alive today?
Patient: Sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead.
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous. - - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897
today's groaner
