I have this account from a relative, a not unduly credulous character, whose email I reproduce here slightly redacted:

I am going to relate to you a very unpleasant half hour I passed last night in case you find yourself similarly targeted. Spoiler alert: I suffered no financial harm by the end of this drama.

Just before 6:00, my phone chirped and the caller ID said that it was [former spouse].

Ozark Hillbilly Male: [Relative]? [former spouse] really needs your help, bud.

Female: *cry* * scream*

I'm thinking, shit she's been in a car crash and it sounds bad. Why are they calling me? How do I even get in touch with her dad and sister in KC?

Urban Black Male: She's okay. You do what we say and she will be fine. You don't do what we say and we'll kill her.

Me: Let me talk to her.

Female: *shriek* *cry* *wail*

UBM: Do exactly what we say. If we even think you called the cops, we're going to fuck her up before we kill her.

Cut to the chase. They directed me to go to Safeway and buy $1900 worth of prepaid VISA cards. Before I made it out the front door I was thinking that this was too weird to be true, but I also thought that the stakes were too high for me to get it wrong. Fortunately, my neighbor was outside when I emerged and I pantomimed 9–1–1 to her. Her husband caught me up as I was getting to the car and I confirmed to the supposed kidnappers that I was getting in the car and going to Safeway per their instructions. Dave dutifully overheard and relayed by destination to dispatch. The police met me in the Safeway parking lot and confirmed that this was almost certainly a scam. I wasn't satisfied with almost. I told them to ask [former spouse] where we went on our honeymoon and if they answered that, I'd give them their money. Equivocation and threats ensued. Eventually, they muted me and conference called [former spouse] (I guess they spoofed my phone number to her?) and asked her that question. I heard her calmly tell them "I know where we went. Why should I tell you? Who are you?" That was enough scam confirmation for me and I hung up on them.

Anyway, these twits had some level of technical sophistication. They were able to spoof [former spouse]'s number to me and likely mine to [former spouse]. They knew that we knew one another. Maybe her phone contact list got hacked. Maybe it was mine. In case it was mine and you get a similar call about me, go ahead and hang up.

I confess that I sometimes daydream about how I might react in a crisis. I never rehearsed this one. I never conceived of it.

Yeah, it doesn’t pass the smell test to me either, but the scamsters were pushing his buttons—twenty years after their amicable parting, my relative retains a strong sentimental attachment to his ex (they actually vacationed together in Croatia a couple of years ago)—and, as he relates, the possible stakes seemed high if he got it wrong. Actually, I know a few estranged couples either party of which would have responded “Be sure and make it painful” before hanging up.

Anyway, I imagine we’ll be seeing more of this sort of thing.

cordially,