Exchange with a presumed evangelical & fixed link
I was out in front of The Crumbling Manse™ an hour ago separating the recyclable wheat from the landfill chaff, so to say, when a man of about my age, a bit portlier, a bit shaggier, stopped and asked “What church do you attend?” The exchange with the Guy on Fire for the Lord (henceforth GOFFTL) then proceeded along the following lines:
RC: Er, none, actually. There’s a rather handsome church down here on the corner, though. They used it in a Volkswagen commercial once—
GOFFTL: Let me ask you this: When was the last time you read the Bible?
RC: Well, that I can tell you. About forty eight years ago, right around this time of year. (I was on the point of adding “Three weeks of my life I’ll never have back again,” but you can imagine the kind of rhetorical opening that would have given him.)
GOFFTL: And now that you’re older and wiser—
RC: Older, anyway. Wisdom’s, you know, kind of a moving target. (Another opening. Ouch. He could certainly have started in about capital-E Eternal Truths, but I think he had a script.)
GOFFTL(earnestly): Are there people in your life you have not forgiven?
RC: Oh, that’s a long list. I’d have to go upstairs to look for it.
GOFFTL(not, I thought, without a note of exasperation): Are there people in your life you have hurt?
RC: Oh, that list’s way longer. Truth to tell, it’s three or four years since I brought it up to date. It would take some finding.
GOFFTL: (gives it up as a bad job; shrugs irritably, walks on)
***
It wasn’t my intent to give the guy a hard time, but I’ve encountered more than a few of these sorts over the years, out to harvest souls for Jesus, and their presumption affronts me a little. It was actually almost refreshing, though, for an adult male in Oakland to initiate a conversation with me that did not turn within five seconds into an appeal for funds.
impiously,
(Oh, and if you followed the link to the VW spot? It’s edited to make the corner church look as though it’s out in the country somewhere. The neighborhood is actually on the edge of Oakland’s downtown, although the civic flacks like us to call it the “Uptown District”).
RC: Er, none, actually. There’s a rather handsome church down here on the corner, though. They used it in a Volkswagen commercial once—
GOFFTL: Let me ask you this: When was the last time you read the Bible?
RC: Well, that I can tell you. About forty eight years ago, right around this time of year. (I was on the point of adding “Three weeks of my life I’ll never have back again,” but you can imagine the kind of rhetorical opening that would have given him.)
GOFFTL: And now that you’re older and wiser—
RC: Older, anyway. Wisdom’s, you know, kind of a moving target. (Another opening. Ouch. He could certainly have started in about capital-E Eternal Truths, but I think he had a script.)
GOFFTL(earnestly): Are there people in your life you have not forgiven?
RC: Oh, that’s a long list. I’d have to go upstairs to look for it.
GOFFTL(not, I thought, without a note of exasperation): Are there people in your life you have hurt?
RC: Oh, that list’s way longer. Truth to tell, it’s three or four years since I brought it up to date. It would take some finding.
GOFFTL: (gives it up as a bad job; shrugs irritably, walks on)
***
It wasn’t my intent to give the guy a hard time, but I’ve encountered more than a few of these sorts over the years, out to harvest souls for Jesus, and their presumption affronts me a little. It was actually almost refreshing, though, for an adult male in Oakland to initiate a conversation with me that did not turn within five seconds into an appeal for funds.
impiously,
(Oh, and if you followed the link to the VW spot? It’s edited to make the corner church look as though it’s out in the country somewhere. The neighborhood is actually on the edge of Oakland’s downtown, although the civic flacks like us to call it the “Uptown District”).
