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New Micro-USB is a bad comparison
The 3.5 mm jack has several advantages over micro-USB:

* Omni-directional insertion. (Yes, along an axis, you pedant.)
* Graceful degradation among various formats - mono, stereo, with and without mic.
* Sturdy.
* Can be made (reasonably) water-tight.
... and let's not forget ...
* Ubiquitous as fuck.

Micro-USB was only announce in January 2007, and became the most widely used by December 2010, though Apple users have been on Lightning since 2012. So there was maybe a 2 year window for micro-USB dominance. That's not ubiquitous.
--

Drew
New Everything in that post is a bad comparison
You forgot another feature: 3.5mm jack headphones can be DAB/FM radio antennae.
     New Pixel phones on October 4. - (Another Scott) - (47)
         I've seen some amusing butthurt from Fandroids about the TRRS jack - (malraux) - (46)
             I have a different theory - (pwhysall) - (45)
                 The Essential apparently has a solution to this problem. - (Another Scott) - (31)
                     This "thinness über alles!" meme that's infected every IT hardware designer's brain is such utter BS - (CRConrad) - (14)
                         Yeahbut... - (Another Scott) - (5)
                             But, a sharp-edged 1.83kg laptop vs a 2.02 kg rounder one is a wash... Or a win for the heavier one. - (CRConrad) - (1)
                                 Heh. - (pwhysall)
                             Re: Yeahbut... - (pwhysall) - (2)
                                 Boy, you don't understand Mac users - (drook) - (1)
                                     Such cynicism in one so... - (pwhysall)
                         I beat you to that one (IOW Yes, that exactly) - (drook) - (7)
                             Yeah, but I *thought* of it long before that. -NT - (CRConrad) - (6)
                                 Did you think of it before smartphones? - (drook) - (5)
                                     Razr? - (malraux) - (3)
                                         J loved her StarTac flip phone. - (Another Scott)
                                         Yup, Razr - (drook)
                                         I had a keychain phone - (crazy)
                                     Motorola RAZR, 2003. - (pwhysall)
                     Re: The Essential apparently has a solution to this problem. - (pwhysall)
                     Geez, I just noticed this - (drook) - (14)
                         Heh. - (Another Scott) - (13)
                             Too true! - (drook) - (12)
                                 Evolution didn't "design" the headphone jack... - (Another Scott) - (11)
                                     Apple patent blocked Magsafe-like connectors for years - (drook)
                                     *Good* reasons? Do tell. -NT - (pwhysall) - (8)
                                         Heh. You know the reasons. - (Another Scott) - (7)
                                             No, I don't. - (pwhysall) - (6)
                                                 Licensing aside, something like Magsafe - (drook) - (2)
                                                     Yeah, but that's not a thing, is it? - (pwhysall) - (1)
                                                         You said "better", not "available" - (drook)
                                                 We won't be using 3.5 mm jacks in 50 years. - (Another Scott) - (2)
                                                     Micro-USB is a bad comparison - (drook) - (1)
                                                         Everything in that post is a bad comparison - (pwhysall)
                                     Will second the snark re phrase, "good reasons" ;^> - (Ashton)
                 Waterproofing would have made the jack even bigger. - (malraux) - (12)
                     You must not run - (drook) - (11)
                         Nope. - (malraux) - (7)
                             Just to make sure I understand ... - (drook) - (3)
                                 No. - (malraux) - (2)
                                     Recommendation != opinion - (drook) - (1)
                                         In my opinion, the dongle should suffice. - (malraux)
                             Reviews indicate it's a piece of crap. - (Another Scott) - (2)
                                 That's another matter for sure. - (malraux)
                                 (Un-believably?) that's an Apple Inc. blog and.. - (Ashton)
                         Here ya go. - (Another Scott) - (2)
                             That's called the "Somali Hands-free" in Finland, if you do it with a phone in stead. - (CRConrad) - (1)
                                 Indeed! Breathing is good. -NT - (Another Scott)

Has anyone seen the bridge?
106 ms