The Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson in here." The Higgs Boson says, "But without me, how can you have mass?"
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897