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New well, at least a gun wasn't used

One man was critically injured Monday afternoon after being chased by another man wielding a chainsaw along a stretch of west Golf Road in Arlington Heights, police said.

A domestic situation involving both men and a woman led to the altercation, said Deputy Police Chief Andrew Whowell.


Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897
New Doesn't say either one of them was killed, does it?
Pretty hard for a man running and carrying a chainsaw at the same time to catch up with another. Not so hard for a bullet, though.

I bet if you Yanks fought all your fights with chainsaws in stead of guns, a lot of lives would be saved.
Christian R. Conrad
Same old username (as above), but now on iki.fi

(Yeah, yeah, it redirects to the same old GMail... But just in case I ever want to change.)
New Nope, cowards all: action-at-a-distance/sometimes also stealth.
Muricans do their worst shit via machine-thinking and machine implements. It's easier and often risk-free (especially if you're a Caucasian-type -vs- one of an already demoted tribe) say.. one whose very skin-color appears to frighten an Armed-Cop to the point of knee-jerk repeated firing into the actively dying, like the guy already strapped into his car seat, as in that assassination live-streamed. (Heard today that the jury didn't convict the 'feared-for-his-life' multiple-shooter.)

Disclaimer: I've met a number of Cops of mensch stature and with all neurons apparently quite in order; ie (all generalizations are false, including this one.)

Nice idea, but the assailant might hurt hisself. Haven't heard of a female running amok with a chain-saw, but ... well, there's likely an Ann Coulter prototype just waiting for the opportunity to be Number One.
Yup, pretty bad ju-ju here, re settling even minor altercations: a Nation of Slaver-ancestry (and more adolescent Drumpfian instincts than most would admit.) What's not to loathe?
New Chainsaws and butter
I think the last century’s wars might have all taken some benefit from being fought with chainsaws on both sides. The Battle of the Somme would have been awesome! I’d also favor swapping in anvils in place of incendiaries and high explosives for the purposes of aerial bombardment, and am confident further that von Braun could have developed a long-range catapult capable of lobbing huge boulders across the Channel (“You never hear the one that gets you”).

My thanks for an entertaining counterfactual. We Americans are a simple, generous, impulsive, heavily-armed people.

New ..replacing the Phosgene with Ecstasy would have saved many..
from Jesus/for Jesus, too; equal opportunity obloquy here.

(Damn.. time to check the battery in the pocket radiation monitor. So much to do, these days.)
     well, at least a gun wasn't used - (lincoln) - (4)
         Doesn't say either one of them was killed, does it? - (CRConrad) - (3)
             Nope, cowards all: action-at-a-distance/sometimes also stealth. - (Ashton)
             Chainsaws and butter - (rcareaga) - (1)
                 ..replacing the Phosgene with Ecstasy would have saved many.. - (Ashton)

He wasn't always this way. He used to be a genial nerd, like many of us.
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