The FBI is looking for for crackerjack hackers to work in its cybercrime division. Trouble is, the most qualified candidates don't pass the smell test.

As I may have mentioned, BDS crawled into bed with our homegrown Gestapo many years ago, and I have accordingly gone through the “security clearance” kabuki. At the first of these I had to sit down to be interviewed by an ex-cop contractor. When after a predictably few minutes the subject turned to what they used to call “youthful experimentation,” the rent-a-dick warned me, “Now I know how old you are and where you went to school, so when you answer these questions, don’t insult my intelligence.” “Of course I’m going to insult your intelligence, you stupid motherfucker,” I thought, “and you’ll be too dumb to recognize the fact.” And I did, and he was.

cordially,