Post #401,117
4/23/15 8:16:28 PM
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The old gentleman now demands
...that he be moved again. He doesn't like the new digs, which were secured after considerable effort, and which look to me way better than most of the alternatives.
Realistically, short of a five star Guide Michelin hotel/resort with celebrity physicians on staff and nurses just released from Playboy Mansion gigs available for daily blowjobs (a hypothetical option that would run through his remaining assets in under a week), what we've got for him as as good as he's going to get. I've seen much, much worse. I and my siblings wouldn't have signed off on this place were it some Dickensian geriatric warehouse.
And if we consented? He would absolutely find fault with the next gig, and demand to be moved somewhere else within a fortnight.
It might be easier to treat him as a child had his entire consciousness rather than merely his judgment devolved to this level (and frankly, in points of obstreperousness he has not deviated overmuch in living memory). We all hate to have to defy his wishes and tell him "no fucking way," but that's what we're faced with, alas.
cordially,
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Post #401,118
4/23/15 8:28:49 PM
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hard, very hard.
my mother is in her dotage as well as being batshit crazy her entire life. Luckily if she becomes immobile we have a 50% chance that it will happen in cuba where she spends 1/2 of her time anyway. She is in a small apartment in an assisted living place in canada the rest of the time. She thinks she runs the place anyway so not much would change except more fetch and step.
Now a weekly blowjob might help him out. Sneak a pro in there and tell him his is the only place that allows that. One a week, don't get greedy and be quiet about it. Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free American and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 59 years. meep
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Post #401,119
4/23/15 8:42:33 PM
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Re: hard, very hard.
Now a weekly blowjob might help him out. Sneak a pro in there and tell him this is the only place that allows that.
You know, box, every now and then you say something that persuades me to entertain the notion that you are delphically wise rather than merely batshit crazy.
cordially,
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Post #401,120
4/23/15 9:12:28 PM
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The box that one can figure out is not the True Box.
Agreed - it's a brilliant thought. ;-)
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #401,122
4/23/15 9:38:20 PM
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OK, Scott
You're the Buddha. I've actually suspected this for a while.
reverently,
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Post #401,124
4/23/15 9:40:56 PM
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:-)
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Post #401,125
4/23/15 9:55:35 PM
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Rofl ;-)
Alex
"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."
-- Isaac Asimov
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Post #401,150
4/24/15 1:21:12 PM
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He died this morning
It's a mercy, but I'm still kinda broken up.
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Post #401,154
4/24/15 1:38:12 PM
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Guess he *really* didn't want to stay at the new place
I hope you take that the way I meant it. One of my cousins said something similar when my grandmother checked out. She was also chronically dissatisfied with her accommodations. We were half convinced she went when she did to prove a point.
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Post #401,160
4/24/15 1:46:55 PM
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Re: Guess he *really* didn't want to stay at the new place
It was a slow fade. I don't know that he died of anything in particular (probably a heart attack), but he was simply fading out as he approached 94. He was still confrontational and obstreperous almost to the end. Odd, but when I received the news I was just screwing up my courage to call him on behalf of the other sibs to deliver the message that no, we weren't going to move him again a week after moving him the last time. I'd just written down the number (his phone was installed a day ago) when I got the news.
It's a mercy, but grief, of course, dismisses these rational considerations.
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Post #401,166
4/24/15 3:05:58 PM
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Indeed it does.
I am truly sorry. I'm there with you. Mom was the last member of the family I was born into alive. Her last two weeks on this earth were absolutely horrific and yet, I know the sense of loss you speak of. It turns out the cliche is true: Time heals ...
It's only been a week, but already I'm feeling the grief lift, slowly but surely. As Scott says, "Hang in there." I can assure you things will improve. Until then, know that my thoughts are with you.
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Post #401,156
4/24/15 1:39:06 PM
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:-(
You did well in trying to make him comfortable. That's all any of us can do.
Condolences to you and yours. Remember the good times.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #401,162
4/24/15 2:25:24 PM
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Dittos on that thought!
Condolences from me as well. Alex
"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that "my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."
-- Isaac Asimov
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Post #401,157
4/24/15 1:39:57 PM
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You can now focus on the good times
Let the bad memories fade.
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Post #401,158
4/24/15 1:40:24 PM
4/24/15 1:41:12 PM
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Very sorry to hear that
For you and your brother. It seems that you did what you could to keep his last days comfortable whether your dad agreed or not.
Edit: Sorry that you lost someone you loved, not sorry that he didn't continue in a state that was painful. Ah, hell, you know what I mean. Regards,
-scott
Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.
Edited by malraux
April 24, 2015, 01:41:12 PM EDT
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Post #401,177
4/24/15 6:01:25 PM
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Will there be strippers?
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Post #401,182
4/24/15 8:29:57 PM
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Condolences.
Which is a kind of useless space-filling word. Eh.
I get to look forward to this, I guess, as my parents are slowly but surely declining with the passing decades. Several times in the past few years I've realized I want my Dad back the way he was twenty or thirty years ago. Mum, too.
Wade.
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Post #401,278
4/28/15 3:11:34 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that Rand
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Post #401,287
4/28/15 8:59:24 PM
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He did
...and his decline was accompanied by many of the usual insults of age, but not by lavish suffering. He just...wore out. I'd be prepared to go like that on a more abbreviated timeline. Dying in one's sleep at an advanced age, without having previously surrendered one's wits: also good.
I've spent the past day and some sorting through his affairs and possessions. Gives me some perspective about my own estate
cordially,
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Post #401,363
4/30/15 6:34:52 PM
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the younger brother adds this
He was asking, against all reason, for his cane less than a day before he died. When we reminded him that he had to keep all weight off his feet if his heels* were to heal properly, he responded "I'll stand on the balls of my feet." He was still attempting to impose his will on the universe at t-minus twelve hours. That's my dad, all right. *suppurating sores very close to gangrenous, apparently
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Post #401,198
4/25/15 10:02:16 PM
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So sorry. :(
-Mike
@MikeVitale42
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- Benjamin Franklin, 1759 Historical Review of Pennsylvania
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Post #401,286
4/28/15 7:32:54 PM
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Re: The old gentleman now demands
Please accept my condolences.
Sorta went through the same thing with my grandmother 20 some years ago. She had to be hospitalized for something severe and she raised holy hell that she didn't want to go in. Said she'd get out one way or another. Made life miserable for the nurses in her wing. 36 hours later the morning nurse came in and found that Grandma passed during the night.
Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- - - Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" 1897
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