"They’re all so fucking young. I never thought I’d use “gravitas” and “William Shatner” in the same sentence, but most of the cast look like they’re barely out of high school, and it’s difficult to imagine “The Federation” letting them run around a multizillion dollar interstellar spacecraft without an adult monitor. This was a dealbreaker in the previous film as well."

Star Trek: the original series
First air date: 1966

Capt. Kirk: William Shatner, b. 1931, age: 35
Mr. Spock: Leonard Nimoy, b. 1931, age: 35
Dr. McCoy: DeForest Kelley, b. 1920, age 46
Mr. Scott: James Doohan, b. 1920, age 46
Lt. Uhura: Nichelle Nichols, b. 1932, age 34
Mr. Sulu: George Takei, b. 1937, age 29
Mr. Chekov: Walter Koenig, b. 1936, age 29 (first appeared in season two)

Average age: 36.48. Age factor relative to rc: 2.6

Star Dreck 90210
Release date: 2009

Capt. Kirk: Chris Pine, b. 1980, age 29
Mr. Spock: Zachary Quinto, b. 1977, age 32
Dr. McCoy: Karl Urban, b. 1972, age 37
Mr. Scott: Simon Pegg, b. 1970, age 39
Lt. Uhura: Zoë Saldana, b. 1978, age 31
Mr. Sulu: John Cho, b. 1972, age 37
Mr. Chekov: Anton Yelchin: b. 1989, age 20

Average age: 32.14

Star Dreck Into Darkness: +4 years all around. The primary actors are almost the same average age as their 1966 counterparts. Age factor relative to rc: 0.6

Sorry, мой брат, it isn't them. It is you.

I have no quibble with your other criticisms.