In Dad's case, hospice would be an administrative distinction that would allow him to remain in his current situation rather than move into a skilled nursing facility. The current place is not licensed for -ostomies except under a hospice waiver.

At age 37, I was given the option of abdominal surgery (they'd have gutted me like a trout and removed all lymph nodes from pelvic floor to diaphragm) or five years of quarterly CAT scans. I opted for the latter with good outcome. I don't blame Dad at all for resisting the notion of another major surgery. I am hoping the docs can present him with less invasive options.

We'll grieve when it is time to grieve. Until then, why borrow trouble?