We don't even use relational parts of "relational" DBs.

All business logic is in C/Perl/Shell

Absolutely ZERO functionality stored in the DB. It makes it *MUCH* more portable and MUCH faster to optimize the tables, if you were to delete a ton of records or bulk add 1M records. Indexes are the only thing in the DB besides the data.

I used to think Oracle and Stored Procedures were the Shizzit... until I had to move a DB from Oracle to another DB. Then and *ONLY* then will you learn the Folly of Stored Procedures for Business logic...