Kangaroo Moses looked out over his exiled nation. His people’s eyes were weary, and their bodies bent from years of bondage. Standing upon a large rock, Kangaroo Moses raised his wooden staff and said, “Fear ye not, O Kangaroo Israel, for the Lord has promised thee salvation!” Kangaroo Moses stretched his paw over the water, and, lo and behold, a strong easterly wind came and divided the waters, and turned the water into dry land, so that Kangaroo Israel could cross. And Kangaroo Israel rejoiced! For at long last they were free.

High above the kangaroo enclosure, the zookeeper shook his head.

“Every day they do this,” he muttered. “Every fucking day.”