"Most people get lost thought: it's unfamiliar territory!" - Alfie.
A few tiles short of a successful re-entry.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
All booster -- no payload.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Any offense taken is ONLY in the mind of the offended.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As sharp as a bowling ball and twice as smart.
Back burners not fully operating.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
Clock doesn't have all its numbers.
Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Exactly what time were you born yesterday?
Full throttle, dry tank.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
General stupidity error reading drive C:
Go straight to the docs. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200!
Goalie for the dart team.
Has a leak in his ceiling.
Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together.
Has it floored in neutral.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
His mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
His puzzle is missing a few pieces.
I'll reply later, I seem to be gagging on my finger right now.
I'm NOT laughing at you....... I'm laughing NEAR you!
If brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If silly had wings, this place would be an airport!
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll laugh at you.
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
Ignorance can be fixed, stupid is forever.
It's okay to call someone stupid; just don't prove it.
Knitting with only one needle.
Make it idiot-proof, and a better idiot will emerge.
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
Murphy was an optimist.
One shade short of a rainbow.
One side short of a pentagon.
Only playing with the jokers.
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.
Operating in stand-by mode.
Ought to have a warning label on his forehead.
Out of the frying pan, into the spilt milk.
Parked his head and forgot where he left it.
Penny for your thoughts? Hey--you owe me change!
Reading from a blank disk.
Reality-o-meter: [*........] Hmmph! Thought so...
Results of your IQ test have come back. They are negative.
Sensors show a moron in this sector, Captain.
Someone blew out his pilot light.
Take your tongue out of your cheek; I can't understand what you're saying
There, is that less cryptic for you?