Saw this in an old email as I was cleaning out my inbox...



Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting
software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry
applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of
this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as Dinner
Dancing 7.5, Cruise Ship 2.3, and Opera Night 6.1 and installs new,
undesirable programs such as Poker
Night 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.
Under no circumstances will it run Diaper Changing 14.1 or House
Cleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but
this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help
please ?!!!!

Jane

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Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due
to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by
its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further, you cannot
purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is
not
designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system, once installed.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I would suggest you read the
entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a
wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent
company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must
assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of
root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\\I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously
while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications
Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create
additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a
C:\\APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations.
Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, or
worse yet, Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband
1.0 to create Fat Belly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are
very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech
tip! Just remember, the system will run smoothly and take the blame for
all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently
run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve
performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and
Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep
Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0
will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features
such as Fixes Broken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and Best Friend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install
Mother In Law 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause
selective shut down of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only
Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 or Golfing 2.3 until Mother In Law 1.0 is
uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped.

Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech
Support wish you
the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully
enjoy this product!

Tech Support