Could LRPD-ate the whole thing but ...
I'll take this part:
She'd be deeply scarred for life (and might actually amount to something) - no, I can't take that responsibility.
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Kip Hawley is still an idiot.
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Purveyor of Doc Hope's [link|http://DocHope.com|fresh-baked dog biscuits and pet treats].
[link|http://DocHope.com|http://DocHope.com]