Is John always this passive? Does he always sit back and wait for you to solve problems or wait to take direction from you? Does he always show this little initiative in helping you? If so, you have my sympathy.

No, John isn't always this passive. First, he thought maybe I had given them the pens and post-its to play with, because he didn't see them getting into the boxes at any point. (They were being furtive about it, it isn't like they had the boxes pulled out from under the table and were pawing around in them). I only learned this today though, that he never saw them actually in the boxes, I asked him at dinner tonight).

Then after I confiscated some of the pens and etc, and gave them only a few, he watched what they did with them, which was when they were writing the notes and sticking them on one another and in the bathroom. I guess he didn't think that was all that bad to stop, I don't know. He said it was more like teasing than fighting at that point. The other thing was they had discovered the accordion post-its and were making long snakes and jumpropes out of them. But that again, was before he knew I hadn't given them some to play with, which was why he asked me at first, if I had given them to the kids.

Then after Katie stopped them once and I yelled at them the last time, I had John stand guard between me and the kids while I threw things into the boxes in a haphazard manner, before ferrying them across the room. But by that point, Trenna had heard me, (and she has 4 kids of her own, but they are older ones), and she came over and instantly "took charge" of the situation, by grabbing all the scribbled on sticky-notes up in rapid fire motion, and herding the children outside and away from the table. She then handed me all the pens and what sticky notes had survived the escapade, and that was it. I just was so stressed I still moved away from the area to the far corner where I could concentrate on packing it all up properly, because I knew it wouldn't all fit in the car like it was.

I think both John and I were very hesitant because they weren't our kids, and my dad's family can be very weird about things, you never know what will set them off sometimes. However, he told me had he seen them IN the boxes, (something he never actually saw, he just saw more and more sticky notes appearing on the table and knew they had to be coming from out of the boxes) he might have stopped them himself. And he said if he had seen that they had anything dangerous, like knives or scissors, he would have most definitely intervened in that situation.

Remember, things were already dicey at this reunion due to family tension between the committee and I, so we were treading carefully, so to speak. But I admired my cousin Trenna, and the way she just grabbed everything away from them and stuck them outside. I wish I could have done that, but if I had, I would have most likely gotten in trouble. They were more towards her immediate family, so she probably had no worries. Plus Trenna doesn't really care what people think, she does what she thinks is best and tough luck if you don't like it. :) She's my favorite cousin, always was, and believe it or not, she won the collage that I made for the reunion. :)

Hope that explains things. John is a lot more assertive with other situations, we were just both very cautious with this one.

You did fine. Take Drew's, and the others, excellent suggestions under advisement.

Thanks, that does help. And next year I won't BE on the committee, (if I even attend) and I won't have stuff they can get into of that nature. But this is one reason I avoid the larger child-oriented events like birthday parties in my dad's family. :) Still it can't hurt to learn some strategies in future.

I'm proud of one strategy I used Saturday morning, though. The 10 year old and another child had been allowed to play with a few of my beanie bears on Friday night, with my permission. I was concerned they would want them again on Saturday, but by Saturday the bears were tied to duct tape and fastened down on the tables. So when they asked about playing with the bears, I explained to them that the bears were not allowed to play today, that they had a important job to do which was be decorations for the reunion, and were on the clock, sort of like when daddies or mommies went to work part of the day. Believe it or not, that actually worked. ;)

Brenda

Maybe it's the experience with four kids, but "taking charge of the situation" is exactly what an adult had to do. Kids are pack animals, like dogs. Someone has to be in charge, and if you don't make it clear that it's you one of them will take that position.

I'm sure it was the experience with four of her own kids, plus she helped raise her sister's kids when they all lived at home in St. Louis.

Me, I stand there and try to take charge and it's like I'm either invisible, or I'm the game master and it's time to play the games. Kids do not listen to me, not ever, unless I yell, (like Beep said).

Brenda