Post #237,817
12/12/05 7:51:53 PM
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Help in slaying the black dog?
Churchill supposedly called his depression the black dog.
A dear friend has depression that he's been treated for, off and on, for a couple of years or so. He doesn't like the side effects of the medication he was prescribed, and getting him to talk to a therapist or other professional is, um, challenging. So he's not getting treatment at the moment.
I'm quite concerned about him because he's not seeming to be able to pull himself out of it.
Does anyone have any suggestions on things I can do to help him out of this? I've found a couple of good articles - [link|http://www.have-a-heart.com/help-a-friend.html|here] and [link|http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/nimhdepression.pdf|here] (25 page .pdf) - but I was hoping to get some more input.
My wife, a very wise woman, says that he needs to find something he loves and get enthusiastic about it. Ideally, he should find like-minded people to hang out with once a week too. I'm sure that would help greatly. He hates his job, isn't getting along with his family, and doesn't see much to be happy about or look forward to right now. :-( I'm trying to come up with some things to help, but would welcome any input you can share.
Thanks a bunch.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Post #237,828
12/12/05 8:54:16 PM
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He needs a hobby.
"Insert crowbar. Apply force."
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Post #237,829
12/12/05 8:55:16 PM
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be a friend, anything else is an enabler
harsh but it isnt something you can help with except to be a friend who will listen.
thanx,
bill
"the reason people don't buy conspiracy theories is that they think conspiracy means everyone is on the same program. Thats not how it works. Everybody has a different program. They just all want the same guy dead. Socrates was a gadfly, but I bet he took time out to screw somebodies wife" Gus Vitelli
Any opinions expressed by me are mine alone, posted from my home computer, on my own time as a free american and do not reflect the opinions of any person or company that I have had professional relations with in the past 49 years. meep
questions, help? [link|mailto:pappas@catholic.org|email pappas at catholic.org]
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Post #237,836
12/12/05 9:12:06 PM
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Harsh, but fairly accurate
I have come to believe that idealism without discipline is a quick road to disaster, while discipline without idealism is pointless. -- Aaron Ward (my brother)
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Post #237,855
12/13/05 12:07:33 AM
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Rent funny movies and watch them with him
Laughter is the number one depression killer. Once you start laughing, the mighty endorphins start to flow and then the good advice or nice things you say will fall on fertile soil. Otherwise, you'll get the "Debbie Downer" effect (Wah Wahhhhhhh)
Laughter therapy really works. It is so simple that many people don't realize it's legitimacy. But it is a proven fact that you remember more information when you are guffawing...something to do with the oxygen intake to the brain.
My stab at being an armchair shrink
:0)
Amy
"It's never too late to be who you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #237,863
12/13/05 1:38:34 AM
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There's nothing less funny...
...than a funny film when you're well and truly down.
Peter
[link|http://www.no2id.net/|Don't Let The Terrorists Win]
[link|http://www.kuro5hin.org|There is no K5 Cabal]
[link|http://guildenstern.dyndns.org|Home]
Use P2P for legitimate purposes!
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Post #237,947
12/13/05 6:53:53 PM
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I disagree
"Something about Mary" made me laugh even after the movie was over. However, I will amend my suggestion to "go out to the theatre and see a really funny movie". Getting out of the house is probably the number one ingredient to changing your POV.
I've just come off a 2 week funk. Getting out of the house was what was instrumental in getting me quirky again.
(that and meds and a couple of visits to my awesome therapist and, of course, Critter...who should be canonized. Hmmmmmm St. Critter!)
But, laughter is what got the ball rolling.
Peace,
Amy
"It's never too late to be who you might have been." ~ George Eliot
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Post #237,867
12/13/05 8:14:59 AM
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The only way to to disable the Black Dog...
Since I have been down this route and am still struggling at its throat.
The only way is to "forcibly" get him OUT with family, friends and cow-orkers.
Even people that really annoy him (but seem to like him) really help in this regard. Antagonists rule in the arena on that (hot button pushers and the like)
Drag him along and do not accept NO as an answer. With one exception, if he violently refuses, no sense getting hurt over someone elses problems.
If you go do something, anything, even just go for a ride, shopping @ $LOCAL_SUPERMARKET_NOT_WALMART. Does he like NASCAR? If so, get him to one of the places that does simulated NASCAR rides. Bowling... yes get him in a League. He needs fill time activities... OUTSIDE of the home. Home is his "safe but bad for him because he can sit-N-mull" place. Stewing and stirring up the crap from the bottom of the cauldron never helps.
His family *HAS* to also get him out. Period. Even though he hates work... does he have ANYONE there that can prod him along? Invite him out to Lunches, include him in extra-cirricular stuff. Does the place have a Bowling Team or an "User Groups" or anything similar.
Just fricking trapsing over to a friend's house for the evening is better than sitting home.
It takes getting out, interacting, seeing the world isn't so damn grey. Taken me over 10 years to get from really really darkly depressed, to almost considered rehabilitated (yeah, no such thing). Took a family that cares, friends that helped, cow-orkers that antagonized that crap out of me.
-- [link|mailto:greg@gregfolkert.net|greg], [link|http://www.iwethey.org/ed_curry|REMEMBER ED CURRY!] @ iwetheyFreedom is not FREE. Yeah, but 10s of Trillions of US Dollars? SELECT * FROM scog WHERE ethics > 0;
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Post #237,874
12/13/05 10:46:42 AM
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Re: Help in slaying the black dog?
A dear friend has depression that he's been treated for, off and on, for a couple of years or so. He doesn't like the side effects of the medication he was prescribed, and getting him to talk to a therapist or other professional is, um, challenging. So he's not getting treatment at the moment. Side effects are something he should be seeing somebody about. Depending on the exact problem there could be several options for medication, plus the option of manipulating the dosage level. Getting him involved in some hobby or dragging him out to social events can work if his depresion is mild. But from the sounds of things it is a long term and fairly serious problem. In which case medication tends to be the only real solution. It sounds like what he needs to do is find a therapist he likes. Jay
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Post #237,909
12/13/05 2:27:07 PM
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Road Trip!
That usually does it for me.
"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" --Mark Twain
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." --Albert Einstein
"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." --George W. Bush
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Post #237,974
12/13/05 11:47:59 PM
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Thanks everyone. Good suggestions. I appreciate it.
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Post #239,035
12/22/05 5:16:34 PM
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Check him for ADHD symptoms.
Seriously, one of the side effects of ADHD is depression - which doesn't respond well to "anti-depressants". Having experience treatment for ADHD, I can say it made a significant change in my behavior for the better before my insurance company put the kibosh on it for stupid reasons - currently in appeals to turn it around.
When somebody asks you to trade your freedom for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #239,160
12/23/05 8:55:02 AM
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Stupid insurance companies
Since we really cant cure ADD/ADHD, we treat the symptoms. If depression is one of your symptoms, and that's what's your provider is treating, have your provider bill with that diagnosis code so you can get you claims paid.
Follow your MOUSE
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Post #239,770
12/29/05 1:17:26 AM
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Already been down that path.
I've taken quite a few antidepressants. Not one of them made a significant difference.
Dr. proscribed an ADHD medication, and ramped up treatment with samples. Almost immediate noticeable difference.
Insurance company said "but you have to take this first and prove it doesn't work before we'll proscribe you the one that was working."
I can't tell ou the rest, but they're going to authorize it. :VBEG:
When somebody asks you to trade your freedom for security, it isn't your security they're talking about.
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Post #239,844
12/30/05 12:03:21 PM
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Can we talk privately about this?
I am going through this with my son now (in addition to other neuro issues) and it would be helpful if we could chat.
Thanks.
lauradatresponseworksdotcom
Follow your MOUSE
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